


Jumping Down

by Kajos



Series: The Ride [1]
Category: The West Wing
Genre: Alternate Universe, Dom Helen, Dom/sub, Dom/sub normal, F/M, Flogging, Light Bondage, M/M, Romance, Season/Series 06, Spanking, Strap-Ons, Sub Josh, dom Matt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-03
Updated: 2019-06-02
Packaged: 2020-02-16 17:51:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 36,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18696391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kajos/pseuds/Kajos
Summary: In a world where dominate/submissive relationships are normal Josh and Matt are on the campaign trail when a deep truth threatens to come out. After years in public Josh is about to be outed as a submissive. Can Matt, Helen and Josh work out their relationship and win a nomination at the same time? Lots of sneaking around, political intrigue and sex.





	1. Looking down the Hole

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Primary](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5747203) by [turingtestflunker](https://archiveofourown.org/users/turingtestflunker/pseuds/turingtestflunker). 



> This work is heavily inspired by turingtestflunker's Checks and Balances series. It is heavily based in places on particular episodes and dialogue is drawn directly from the episode. It's a bit of a slow start but I hope you enjoy. This is a society where dom/sub relationships are normal including a certain amount of bondage and pain play. This includes male-male pairings if you don't like don't read. More specific warnings will be placed on each chapter as we go. Please comment and leave kudos.

Josh guessed he'd always known his preference but after losing Joanie he hadn't wanted to disappoint his parents. He'd tried to be like her. Brash and loud and assertive. It had worked as well. While he was young it hadn't made a difference but by the time he turned 14 he was knew he couldn't lie about it forever. After messing around a bit he finally asked for ten minutes with his father and told him. Josh was a sub. He preferred that in the bedroom. He had expected his father to be devastated and disappointed. Instead his father had smiled and told him he just wanted Josh to be happy and asked him what he wanted to do with his life. Josh had told him he wanted to go into politic.

His father had warned him then that while he didn't need to lie exactly he should play down the truth. Keep it private. However stupid it was a lot of people didn't trust that submissives could lead and there were a lot in law and politics who thought submissives were easy targets. Josh had taken the advice and through the rest of school and into college if anyone asked he wasn't sure yet what he prefered. It wasn't unusual any more to spend a lot of time thinking about it and when he finally graduated he decided to stay the course. He didn't confirm his preference and to keep people guessing he only ever dated switches.

That was how he'd met Sam. It had been a date though that part never got off the ground. It turned out Sam was a much better friend than date so he never gave Josh away and had covered for him a lot of times. Sam was the sort of democrat who thought Josh should be out and proud but he understood that reality didn't live up to his high ideals.

It was when the two of them first went to clerk in Washington that Josh discovered that Leo knew. Apparently his dad had called his best friend and asked him to keep an eye out for him. Josh had worried that Leo would be babysitting him but Leo just told him to be discrete much like his father had all that time ago and to not back down. That push had been what started Josh on the road to becoming Bartlett's Bulldog.

It was Leo who'd invited him on to the campaign. Josh had just looked at him confused why he'd ask when he knew but Leo had just told him to go to Nashua. When he got there Josh understood straight away. Josiah Bartlett was the sort of man who wouldn't care. While publicly he and his wife were a dom and sub Josh had always suspected they mixed it up a bit more in private. After he saw that he went and found Sam. He was sure Leo had told the future president the night his father died.

It hadn't been till a year into their first term that he told CJ. After the whole "Sam slept with a call girl’ incident Josh decided he needed to come clean to the tough as nails top. He needed to make her his first call. She’d blinked for a moment, laughed, asked if he was serious and then asked who knew. Josh had listed the five people in the world who knew he was a sub: his mother, Leo, the president, Sam and Mandy. Mandy was the only relationship he’d had that lasted long enough for her to know the truth. It had ended because she’d worked it out. She hadn’t been interested in being a top and in truth she hadn’t been top enough for Josh anyway. CJ had nodded, thanked him for telling her and looked at him just a little different ever since.

Toby he hadn’t told persay. In fact he Toby and Sam had all got drunk and Sam had let it slip. Toby had just raised his eyebrow, commented on Sam’s poor vocabulary choices and never mentioned it again. Josh had loved him in that moment.

Josh had never told Donna. He’d spent seven years not sure what to do with Donna. She was there, she was beautiful and she was a submissive as well. He knew if he started anything with her they’d just end up miserable. Not telling her though had always felt a bit like leading her on as the gossip mags and fan girls went on and on about what a hot top he was. He felt bad about that but he never corrected because part of him couldn’t let go of the hope in her eyes.

Josh had made two mistakes though, three really when he thought back over it. The biggest in some ways had been Amy. She’d chewed him up and spat him out. It had left him lost and confused. The worst part though would be that then the bitch, as he thought of her, knew. She knew the one peice of information that could destroy his career and Josh didn’t trust her.

The other mistake had been forgetting. He’d worked with the Senator for quite a while and while he hadn’t told the man or been caught by him, he knew the Senator suspected. The man had tired to come on to Josh more than once during a late night session tearing over legislation. He should have been on the list, Josh should have said something to CJ. It might have saved them from the embarrassment of the scandal. It certainly might have helped with some of the fear Josh felt as he walked up to the man after a rally in New Hampshire to see what message he had for Matt Santos.

\--*--

After small talk and Hoynes normal weird noncommittal flirting Josh cut to the point.  
“So why did you want to see me?”  
“Talk about Amy’s memos. If we’re both going to use her I think we should try and make sure we’re not sounding like we’re all singing from the same song sheet.” Hoynes told him with a shit eating grin.  
“She gave you the memos.”  
“Times up Josh.” Was all he said and walked away.  
What was in Amy’s memos he didn’t know about. Why was Amy talking to Hoynes and his people at all? That last comment… had Amy confirmed something. Was this meeting a threat? Josh didn’t know but he knew he had to get back and get the bitch away from Santos.

\--*--

He walked back into the debate prep room with his life in his mouth.  
“Anything from Hoynes?”  
“Yeah, I’m gonna need five minutes with Amy.”  
“Well take ten. I’m gonna call my wife. Show amy how little I shape events.”  
Amy started talking to him about the presidential voice.  
“You should have told me your working with Hoynes.”  
“It was a memo, I gave it to all the candidates.”  
“You should have told me!” Josh asserted.  
“Why? Security is the new women’s issue. I wanted all the candidates ready to go up against the republicans on this.”  
“On security?”  
“Yes, on security. Did you see the gender gap on the last election? No ‘cause there wasn’t one.”  
“We don’t care about security. What else have you been talking to Hoynes about?”  
“We!? You didn’t even know I was coming Josh. I don’t have to tell you anything.”  
“I know your leaving.” The room fell silent and in his pain Josh couldn’t help it slipping out “You told Hoynes didn’t you?” She just looked at him for a moment longer shocked. She picked up her stuff and left. He did say anything.

Santos passed her as he re-entered the room. He cast about himself confused as he approach Josh.  
“What happened in here? Amy practically knocked me over in the lobby.” Josh moved towards the safety of the notes in his bag.  
“She’s going back to Washington.” Santos slapped his thigh in frustration wishing it was his infuriating campaign managers head.  
“You fired her?”  
“She’s been advising the whole field. Hoynes used the same line on Pakistan. She’s brilliant. I can understand how you’d want her and she’s my ex-girlfriend so maybe you didn’t want to tell me but if you had trusted me…” Josh spieled off, ‘maybe I could have kept her away.’ His thought continued as Santos interrupted him.  
“I knew she was advising everyone. That’s why I didn’t tell you. You think I care about your dating life?” It burned Josh. Partly that this man he respected so much and was starting to think of as a friend didn’t care but mostly that he knew in that moment that he was going to have to tell him.  
“Okay, politics 101. Your opponents are going to use anything they can against you. I know that’s not how you like to do business but it won’t stop them. Which means you probably do need to care about my dating life because I think thanks to Amy there Hoynes is about to leak to the press the fact that your campaign manager is a sub!” Josh whirlwinded out not knowing if he could start again if he stopped.

Santos stood dum struck all thoughts of the chickens, the debate or the presidential voice gone from his head as he tried to process this most unlikely piece of information about the man in front of him. The man who had just fired someone without his permission. Someone he used to date. The man who had been shouting at him and lecturing him for weeks. The man known on the hill as a Bulldog. That man was a submissive.  
“If they did leak that, would it be true?” He asked Josh who was now staring at the floor. After a beat Josh answered.  
“Yes.” The word hung like dead meat between them, swing in the air.


	2. Teetering on the Edge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter  
> Josh tries to resign... Josh does this a lot in this fic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No warnings

“I’m sorry. I should have told you from the start of this.  It wasn’t fair of me to saddle you with this risk. I can find you a new manager and hand in my resignation.” Josh tumbled out grabbing his bag and some of the papers off the table as he made a move to leave.

“Wait.” Santos said holding up his hands. “Wait. You need to give me one minute to work this out JOSH!” He yelled grabbing Josh’s arms to stop him. Josh froze. He waited for the energy to build again. The want to run, the feeling of being held he’d had since he was young. The adrenaline of it that he loved. It never came. It felt different. His mind cleared, completely. He stilled. He waited. Josh couldn’t believe this feeling, he wanted to stay as long and Santos wanted him to. The congressman breathed deeply for a second.

Santos couldn’t believe what he was seeing. He’d grabbed Josh. He’d grabbed someone he knew was a sub without asking first. He was married… but the stillness. Josh the blur of constant motion was completely still and waiting for him. It felt good. It had been so long since he’d felt like this. He loved Helen but she was a top too and they didn’t have this. He needed to say something though. He needed to let go.

“I don’t want you to resign, Josh. I know you can do the job. But I am going to have to think about this. How… how do people not know this? Who does know?” He asked releasing Josh’s arm. Josh started to tense again.

“I keep things low key. People don’t guess. I only date switches, I normally don’t get involved long enough for them to realise. Obviously the President knows, most of senior staff. I never told Will and I don’t think anyone else did. I think Hoynes suspects, knows. I don’t know.” He mumbled not looking Santos in the eye and glancing around for a way out. 

“What do you mean he suspects?” Santos said incredulously.

“Well, he always seemed to have an idea. He hit on me a lot. Hard to say anything when your in the closet. I felt bad when the scandal came out but I hear that’s normal with that sort of thing. Either he’s just messing with me to get a rise or Amy confirmed something for him.” Santos looked somewhat horrified at the idea. He didn’t think he could deal with Hoynes’ behaviour right now. Instead he went with:

“So Amy knows.”

“We dated for months, I think she knows.” Josh said with a chuckle and a small grin. “Oh, and Mandy from a few years back too but I trust her. She wouldn’t tell anyone.” They’d broken up on good terms. Mandy had told him he never need to worry where she was concerned and he hadn’t.

“So are you seeing anyone currently?” He asked suddenly realising he was concerned with his campaign managers dating life. “Is there anyway he could have got a picture or something?”

“No. I don’t get involved during campaigns. Always too risky. No one since Amy.” He confessed, embarrassed at talking to his boss about how much of a loser he was. Santos did the maths, Josh hadn’t gotten any for like six months. The guy had to be going insane. No wonder he couldn’t sit still. He was a bundle of nerves that needed pinning down til he broke and let someone look after him. Wait where was that thought coming from. Josh was his campaign manager. He was married. He needed to stop thinking like this.

“Okay, we’ll deal with this later. Don’t fire anyone else.” He told Josh before walking out the room. He needed to get away. He needed to breath before he lost it.

\--*--

Josh watched Santos walk out the room and something inside him seemed to collapse. He’d fucked everything up again. This is why he’d needed Donna. This is why he’d needed CJ and the others. He couldn’t do this on his own. He wasn’t good enough, he couldn’t hold it together on his own. He never should have pulled Matt Santos the guy who wanted to spend more time with his family into this insanity. He couldn’t win a presidency. 

He need to sort this out now. He would have to sort the one minute slot and the New Hampshire primary but after that he needed to hand off to someone else.


	3. Falling in

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter  
> In which Josh and Matt both panic and call for help

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No warnings

Matt stepped in to his hotel room and pulled out his phone. He stared at it for a moment before he flipped it open and redialed the last number. He sat on the end of the bed and waited for Helen to pick up.

“Honey, I know you miss us but you really should get back to work.” He smiled. He would never regret marrying another top. They may not be able to be everything for each other but they loved each other and that had been enough for ten year and two kids.

“I think I need to apologise.” He said quietly. Helen’s chuckle died.

“What happened?” She said softly.

“I don’t know Helen. I really don’t know. Josh just fired Amy and I was about to tear him a new one over it and then he comes out and tells me he’s a sub and then… then I grabbed him.”

“Seriously?! What happened?!” She sounded shocked.

“No, nothing that serious or, I don’t know. I just grabbed his arms so he would stop talking about resigning and trying to leave.”

“Okay, then what happened?”

“I don’t know, Josh went still. Like actually still. You’ve met the guy he never stops.But he did and it felt…” Matt closed his eyes remembering the feeling. “It felt amazing, Helen. I know I shouldn’t have done it and I’m sorry and I promise it won’t happen again Helen. But god it felt good.”  He finished and waited for her to say something. It took a few moments.

“Matt, we talked about this before we got married. I know it hasn’t come up since. We did say we would be open to the idea of seeing subs still. You don’t have to be sorry for wanting that Matt.”

“Yeah but there’s a difference between theory and lusting after Josh Lyman.” Santos said with a chuckle. 

“I have to say that’s a surprise. I mean really... Josh Lyman. I’ve only met him briefly but on TV and when we talk he always seemed like such a hardcore arse hole.”

“I know. I was shocked. I mean, now I see it. The guy just needs someone to tell him it’s okay to stop. I want you to know that I didn’t mean for anything to happen and It won’t happen again.”

“Matt. I love you. I want  _ you  _ to know that if something does happen it’s okay. I understand that this is something we might have to explore at some point. This is the first time you’ve had to do a campaign on the road Matt. It’s going to be a lot of stress and I’m not going to be with you all the time. If you need to find an outlet do. Just stay this honest with me about it.”

“I will. But I should say I don’t want to pursue this. I think I just got caught off guard when Josh confessed like that. I’m not crazy enough to start anything with him. It’ll be bad enough if the press work it out without adding that on top.”

“Would it really be the end of the world if people had to admit that a subs been helping to run the country from such a prominent position for so long?”

“No, but it might be the end of Josh if he has to face all the questions and insinuations it will lead to.”

“Sometimes I hate politics.”

\--*--

Josh had phoned CJ. After all she’d known a long time. She probably already had plans on plans. She would understand. 

“What did he say?”

“He said we’d talk about it later.”

“Well that’s not bad. Are you sure Amy said something?”

“No, but Hoynes as hinting pretty heavily if he didn’t have something.”

“Yeah but he might just be rattling your cage. Maybe your just hearing your fears.”

“Maybe. Maybe.” He smiled for the first time in the call. “You see CNN?”

“Yes. Good move with the chickens. I can’t believe Donna engaged a chicken. Didn’t you teach her not to engage chickens?”

“I thought I had. You have to admit it was hilarious though, best press we could have asked for.”

“You owe the girl Josh Lyman”

“And I’ll pay up just as soon as she stops working for the enemy. Any way CJ, I need names. Who do I get in?”

“I don’t think you should. I think you should brazen it out. Be good for subs everywhere.”

“No way CJ I’m not sacrificing this campaign on the altar of preference politics. I owe Matt more than that.”

“Fine, but in that case you already know the list. Sam or Bruno if you can find the money.”

“I’ll look into Sam. He could be a good call.”

“Josh you already have the right man for the job. You may be an idiot but don’t write yourself off.”

“Yeah, thanks CJ. Any time duckie.”


	4. Shouting for Help

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short Chapter (I promise longer ones to come)  
> In which Josh and Matt argue and Will hears a rumour

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No warning

Josh got back to headquarters and got the update.

“You have a number for Amy?” He asked. He knew they needed her and his best bet for her not leaking this would be to apologize.

“She gave it to me but made me promise not to give it to you.” He was told. Yeah, that sounded like her. He just sighed and moved on. Santos arrived to look over the add. Josh was pretty please with how it had come together. It got across all the points Santos had been making all week about the debate and was funny enough to get the free replay.  He watched the congressman’s face though as it played. He knew this was going to be another argument. He didn’t know why he was even here sometimes.

“It’s an attack ad.” God save him from the congressman’s morals. Did he really think he could keep the high ground. After they argued Josh just gave up.

“Here, run it or don’t run it. It’s up to you.” He said walking away.

\--*--

“Donna, can we talk?” Will asked as they passed in the corridor. Donna was free so they went to his office and he closed the door. “I’ve just got some interesting information from Hoynes people. We might be able to use it to discredit Santos and his mightier than thou debate.”

“What you get?” Donna asked. She hated this sort of thing but knew it was part of the game.

“You worked for Josh for what, eight years?” He asked coyly

“Yes, and before you go there nothing happened.” She said heading off the most common rumour people came to her with. She wished something had happened but Josh was surprisingly a professional who generally kept his dating life out the way unlike Amy who had kept dragging it into the office.

“Not where I was going actually. Did Josh ever date a sub? I mean even like a one night stand? Cause I’ve got a source that reckons Josh ‘the pitbull’ Lyman is in fact a sub..” Donna stood frozen for a moment. That was a completely new one to her. All the accusations of playing about and being a Ladies man over the years she’d never had to deal with a rumour that Josh was a sub.

“Josh didn’t really date as much as the press seemed to think he did. I mean there was Mandy who was a switch at the time though I hear she’s collared and married now. Then there was Joey but nothing ever came of that and she was a switch. And of course Amy and she’s a switch so maybe Josh likes to mix it up but there’s no evidence he’s a sub. Who’s your source?”

“Hoynes.”

“Well that reliable. He’s probably just trying to get you to embarrass yourself going after it. I’d leave it. Not worth the risk.”

“Yeah, but Donna. What if it’s true? Think about it. How many times could Josh have swung something one way or the other for his top of the hour?”

“Except Josh would never do that. Don’t remember how hard he worked to shut Amy down when she went up against him.” Will didn’t looked convinced but dropped it.

“Any way the debates late and I hope I don’t have to remind you to please not get in a fight with another chicken before then.”


	5. Walking by

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short Chapter   
> In which Josh makes a mistake with Amy and Will gets a fax

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very light bondage

Josh has no idea what is said in the Alley after he left but something but the fire back into Santos’s eyes and Josh is both scared and in awe as they march into the TV station. The staff may not be interest in his second tier candidate butt Josh can tell something is coming and it’s going to be amazing. He was right. Whatever else Josh was more sure than ever that he had the right candidate as they walked out of that room.

“The hard part it turns out is clearing your throat.” Josh just grinned. He was still smiling as they got back to a headquarters surrounded by press. This was the idea. This was how one minute was going to turn into hours of coverage. He loved that it needed no spin.

“You can put me in witness protection, guy wrote his own ad.” He crowed as he closed the door. He had to find a TV now. 

At first he didn’t even notice Amy sat there to intent on the TV reshowing the ad and talking about the debate and fact that everyone else had had to release a statement. This was amazing. They needed to use it they needed to use the donations that were flooding in to spin it out to the other states. 

“No!” Amy said firmly as he moved to grab his phone and start making call. That voice ran straight through him. After the stress of the day it reached down and grabbed him somewhere so he stopped and without turning to look at her said.

“Then what?” He didn’t know what he wanted her to do right then but she was using the voice she used to use when they were alone. 

“You sit right here.” She told him, guiding him back to the chair she’d just been sat in facing the TV. “And watch” He tensed as she moved away from him terrified and excited that she might just walk away. When she came back and started taping him to the chair his breathing became erratic. Then it was Amy. She put the tape on the bar and sat somewhere behind him and they watch the news cycle spin.

Finally she pulled the tape apart at the back and walked out. Josh was wrung out. That was it. After six months she starts something and that’s it! He hated her. Hated that she could still crook a finger and he’d crawl for her just cause he was desperate to do it for someone.

\--*--

The fax came straight to Will’s office. He picked it up and smiled. How the hell had Lyman let someone snap that. He looked at it more closely. Hadn’t Lyman been wearing that tie earlier?

“Donna!” He called 

“Yeah?” She asked her head popping round his door.

“Come look at this I think we might have a confirmation. I think this might be today.” Donna moved and looked at the badly scanned picture in his hand. It was josh taped to a chair with Amy leaning against the back of it. Amy had an evil grin on her face while Josh just looked a little stunned.

“Where the hell did you get this?” She asked

“From a guy I know at the post. They’re running it Sunday apparently.”

“They can’t Will. It’ll knock the debates completely out of the cycle.”

“That’s the idea. You think the VP is going to come out of Santos’ debate with his pants on. He’ll probably insist on telling the seal joke again.” Donna bit her lip thinking about the fact that they were going to destroy her former boss. Part of her thought she should have been pleased but however much Josh had messed up with her he didn’t deserve the kind of slander this would generate.


	6. The Doctor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Amy leaves, Josh tries to resign again, Matt makes a mistake and Helen gives some good advice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No real warnings but their is an argument and accusations are made that are immediately regretted.

Josh saw Amy as they were waiting for the debate, he didn’t know why but he tried to smooth over earlier.

“You want to get an ice cream sometime?”

“No, I’m going back to washington.” She said turning to leave.

“Wait. You’re not staying for the debate?” She gave him a sad and longing and disappointed look.

“No I’m tired of hearing people managle my words.” She left and to Josh it felt like it. Like a door finally closing. Like they both knew that they were wrong for each other and this couldn’t happen. Josh turned and watched the debate. Later he would have to face the music, he had been wrong about Amy. He wasn’t about to be outed he felt like he might live to fight another day. About half way through the debate his phone buzzed. He moved out into the corridor quietly to take it.

“CJ, you seeing this debate?”

“Yeah Josh I’m seeing it.” CJ said with a sigh. “Danny called me.”

“Great. How’s Danny?” He asked

“He gave me a tip about a story that’s going to run sunday. About you Josh. Apparently they have a picture of you tied to a chair.” His heart stopped. It had been two hours ago. How did they get it so fast? How did they get it in the first place? How could he go from having hope to this pit before him. He would have to tell the congressman after the debate. It took him a moment to realise CJ was still talking.

“Josh, you alright? You still there?”

“Yeah, I’m here. Shit CJ. It was once. It was two hours ago. That was all there is to it.”

“Someone got a picture though Josh and it’s going to run. You need to get ahead of this or get out of there.”

“Yeah, yeah I know, I’ll sort it after the debate. I’ll have to tell the Congressman first. I’m sorry CJ.”

“For what?

“I fucked up and now it’s going to be another albatross around the president's neck just like the MS. Another dirty little secret of the Bartlett presidency.”  
“Shut up Josh. You know what the presidents going to do… follow your lead. If you want to know comment this to death we will. If you want to come out the President will come out swinging with all the facts. We don’t have to win another election Josh. That’s your job.”

“Not for much longer it isn’t. Talk to you soon.” Josh hung up on CJ. He watch Santos smash the rest of the debate with his mouth full of lead. He couldn’t deal with this he needed to get out. With about an hour left he stepped out the back again and pulled out his phone.

“Josh Lyman as I live and breath. How’s the campaign going? Your guy is smashing the new hampshire debate.”

“Sam, I need you to take over the campaign.”

“Josh your guys doing well but he’s still not a serious contender yet. Your not big enough to need a deputy. Call me again when that changes.” 

“Wait.” Josh said hearing that Sam was going to hang up. “I don’t need a deputy, I need you to take over as campaign manager.”

“Josh let me get this straight your guy finally picks up some momentum and your leave. AND you want me to come in an pick up?”

“That’s about it yeah. He’s the real deal Sam. I need you to help me out here.”

“If he’s the real deal why are you leaving.”

“It runs Sunday and they have a picture, Sam. I can’t drag the campaign down with me.”

“Josh…” Sam said not sure what to say. “I know you’ve been avoiding this for years but maybe you should just see it out. It could even win you the sub vote.”

“I can’t Sam. It’s going to be everywhere. The tabloids will have me in bed with half the white house by lunch. It’s going to wipe the debate completely off the headlines. If I stay it won’t stop. If I go now it’ll be one news cycle tops.”

“Josh is there even a campaign without you? I mean what does the congressman think?”

“I haven’t told him yet. Look, I don’t need a decision from you now just call me back in the morning.”

“Josh where are you even going to go?”

“I was thinking Florida. My mom’s been on at me to visit for a while.”

“Don’t do anything stupid Josh.  You can survive this with a political career.”

“Yeah, answering phones. Talk to you later.” Josh quipped before hanging up. He took a deep breath. He needed to get the congressman alone to talk about this. It would have to wait until they got back to the hotel. 

\--*--

Josh was quiet in the car on the way back. As they climbed out Santos decided to find out why.

“Hey, Josh. You’re pretty quiet over there. Did I get something wrong in the debate?” He asked his brooding campaign manager.

“No, no, the debate was great. Can we talk for like 10 minutes? Inside?” He didn’t want the press to get hold of anything else they shouldn’t have by having this conversation in the parking lot.

“Fine.” They went to Josh’s room. Josh closed the blinds. 

“You know when I said I was tied up earlier?”

“Yeah.” Santos replied vaguely remembering something from before the debate.

“I was actually tied up, with Amy.” Josh admitted. Santos didn’t know what to say to that and before he could respond. “Some press guy went past the open door it turns out and got a lucky picture. According to a tip it’s running on Sunday along with a story outing me. I’ve already talked to someone about taking over the campaign. I’ll sort my resignation tonight.” He babled on.

“Stop.” Santos said simply. Josh fell silent. “You told me earlier that you don’t date during campaigns, something about too much risk I seem to recall and haven’t you and Amy been over for months?”

“I… I fucked up. Amy ambushed me. I… I just didn’t think.” Josh didn’t know where to look, what to say to the look of confusion and disappointment from Santos. 

“So are you a thing again? I need to know, apparently my campaign now revolves around your love life.” The congressman’s voice dripped with incredulity.

“Look I’m sorry. It was a moment of madness. Amy’s going back to Washington, we never really worked and I think that was the last try. We both know now that it's never going to happen. I just… I needed something and Amy was there.” Josh mumbled softly knowing it was no excuse. “I need to write up my resignation I’ll have it for you by the morning.” He mumbled and moved to try and reach past Santos to open the door for him. Instead Santos grabbed his shoulders and shoved him back in to the room.

“No. I had one condition when we started this. You are in it with me. You are not resigning over this.” He said trying to stay calm

“There is no campaign if this goes public and I’m still manager!” Josh broke shouting

“Like hell there isn’t!” Santos fired back. “You’ve been hiding this for years Josh. It’s time you were honest about it. Don’t you want to be able to be open about this?” It was a nice idea Josh thought but he’d rather still be able to do his job.

“You know what?! Yeah. It would be great to walk into a bar sometime and actually be able to pick up a top. Someone who would really be in to what I want. Not just some toppy switch trying it out for a bit but that’s not how this works. You know what kind of subs get to be in politics? Collared subs working for tops. Ones with some respectability. I can’t keep my job and go out on the pull with this. Any time I do it’s going to lead to pictures in the papers and accusations of who got me to what for them! For god’s sake by Monday there are going to be rumours out there that I’ve slept with half the hill.”

“Have you?” the words were out of the congressman's mouth before he could even think of them. He hated the look on Josh’s face as he crumbled under the accusation and then anger surged in behind. “You told me you weren’t seeing anyone earlier, then you hook up with your ex-later that day. What am I supposed to think?!” he said getting up in his campaign managers face.

“I told you. It’s been Mandy and Amy. Thats it since the start of the Bartlett campaign. Believe me, don’t believe me but it’s true. True be told I wish it wasn’t. I wish I wasn’t that much of a looser. I guess that’s one good thing, once it’s out there and I’m not on this campaign anymore I can finally date.” As he said the last ten words Santos’ brain flipped. Josh gone and dating was too much. He grabbed the shorted man by the face and kiss him fiercely. For a moment Josh froze but then his shoulders slumped and Santos felt him soften into the kiss. He took what was offered thrusting his tongue into the man’s mouth, lost in the moment. 

Josh was overwhelmed. Congressman Matt Santos was kissing him, his hand was fisted in the back of his arm pulling his head back. As Santos finally pulled back from him Josh was glassy eyed and lost in the feeling. He was limp in Santos’ grasp. Santos looked at him a moment his eyes shining with power and passion before he dropped him and stepped back.

“I… that didn’t happen. I… Look Josh don’t. Just this didn’t happen. I need to think.” He said as he backtracked to the door and left.

\--*--

CJ didn’t know what to do. Sam had called her. Good boy had finally worked out the system. He though Josh was about to do something stupid. He wasn’t answering his phone. Not for her anyway. She needed to bring in the big guns. She picked up the phone and hit one on her speed dial.

\--*--

Matt walked out the motel room and hit one on his speed dial.

“Three called in one day, aren’t I the lucky girl. The debate was great by the way.”

“Helen, I fucked up.” He said starting to choke up he didn’t know what was happening. What was he doing? 

“What happened?” She asked softly hearing the pain in his voice.

“I… I… Josh was right, they’re leaking a story on Sunday about him. I got angry.”

“What did you do Matt?” She knew that he could speak without thinking sometimes.

“I accused him of sleeping with half the hill and then he said he was leaving so he could finally date and I kissed him.” The line was silent for a while. “Helen. I’m sorry, I know I promised earlier that nothing would happen. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“Matt, what happened after that?” She spoke carefully concern in her voice.

“Nothing, I swear. I left.” He said pleadingly.

“Wait, you just kissed him and then walked out? Was Josh okay? I mean I can’t imagine he given the aforementioned press story.” Santos realised for a moment he might have made a mistake. 

“I don’t know. I might have… panicked.”

“Where was he after the kiss?”

“In his room.”

“I mean in his head Matt. Come on I know its been a while but your parents raised you better than this.”

“I don’t know. I kissed him and he relaxed and stopped talking and I was holding him and it was amazing. I shouldn’t have been doing it… and I left.” Matt finally paused long enough in his marital panic to think clearly about how his actions must have looked from Josh’s side. “I need to go back don’t I?”

“Probably, but wait just two seconds first, Matt. Before you go back in there you need to decide. You can’t just go back in there, you need to know if this is a thing that your going to carry on with or if it ends now. You probably need to think about what you want to do with the campaign.” Matt was silent with his thoughts.

“Helen, where are you?” He asked cautiously. The tension mounted as he waited for his wife’s reply. He couldn’t hurt her. That just wasn’t an option so he needed to know what she wanted.

“I’m going to tell you the same thing I did when you wanted to run for president. Let’s try and see where it goes.” Helen sounded in control and confident and not at all like she was angry.

“Can I run with this? I mean the press would have a field day. They’re going to have a field day on Josh on Sunday.” Matt was definitely looking for a reason not to do this. He did that a lot. When he wanted things. He tried to think why not cause he knew he was a leap in with two feet kind of guy. Once he made a decision he very rarely changed it.

“Which does not have to be the end of things if you stand by him as a professional.”

“Can I do that if we’re in a relationship and not tell people?”

“Matt, I know you don’t get much with this but you do have the right to some privacy. You don’t have to tell them about a relationship that barely exists.” Helen was amazing, he loved her for a reason. Dom-dom pairings were rare but it worked for Matt and Helen. They were each others rock.

“Is that fair to Josh though?”

“I’m pretty sure he isn’t going to want that piled on top either.” Matt took a deep breath.

“So we see how things go?” 

“We see how things go and you get back in there before Josh does something stupid.” Helen said half jokingly.


	7. A Prescription

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Leo convinces Josh not to do something stupid, Josh and Matt talk and Matt takes charge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Light sado/mascho pain play
> 
> Long Chapter

Matt turned and walked to the door which had locked behind him. He could hear the phone ringing in the room. He knocked lightly on the door.

“Josh. Can we talk?” He asked gently. There was no reply. The phone kept ringing.

\--*--

Matt had let go and Josh had dropped. As Santos reached the door his knees impacted the carpet, shock shattering up his body as the door swung open and he tipped to one side. Santos walked out the door muttering and Josh hit the ground eyes still lost in a haze. As he breathed he came back to the moment no longer lost in the euphoria of that kiss. His eyes darted around the room looking for something. He blinked screwing up his face thinking through what had happened. Santos had left hadn’t he. Oh, god. Santos had left.

Josh couldn’t move. He needed to leave. He was ruining a man’s married and presidential campaign staying here. He just couldn't right now. He felt so lost. This kept happening. He kept being left. His sister, his father. Amy had always left him when she was done with him. No one stayed. Even Donna had left him in the end. The only common element was him. He knew he was annoying and abrasive. He should just go find some corner to sit in and become a divorce lawyer. The phone was ringing but Josh couldn’t reach for it. Couldn’t be told that something else was wrong. That he’d got something else wrong. He just lay there crumpled on his side not moving, crying instead. He didn’t have much left but he had this. He had this moment before he had to get out of everyone's way and draw fire. He was good at drawing fire he thought to himself.

The soft knocking at the door told him the congressman had come back to fire him. He didn’t answer but he did start to move. Wiping his face and starting to get up. He ignored the knocking and calls for him and decided to go for the phone first. He didn’t look who it was before taking the call.

“Yeah.” He said hoping that simplicity would hide the shake in his voice.

“Josh. CJ called. You okay?” Leo’s voice came from the phone.

“I don’t know Leo. I think I did something really stupid.” he told his mentor sitting on the bed. The knocking on the door had stopped when he picked up the phone.

“That sounds about right Josh. First thing, are you safe?” Leo asked clearly thinking about that christmas.

“Yeah, I’m safe. Leo, they’re going to tell the world.”

“We all knew it would come out someday Josh. Your dad told talked to me when you first came to Washington. He asked me to look out for you and to make sure you didn’t let anyone tell you it would stop you. He believe in you, and so did I. I didn’t just make you my deputy because of your Dad. I did it because you were the best man for the job.”

“Really?” He asked having never really believed it.

“Yeah, and when they ask us all on Sunday how we could have kept this a secret from the american people you know what I’m going to say?”

“That after MS it didn’t seem that big a deal and after all I was only a deputy.”

“No, that I didn’t keep anything secret. I told anyone who asked that you were the biggest arsehole on the hill.” They both chuckled at that. 

“What do I do Leo?”

“Keep being the arsehole I know you are. Don’t let the press rile you, you don’t need more secret plans. Just keep your cool and ride it out. Then when it all dies down you give them hell and get your guy elected.” Josh just nodded as he said it. 

“Thanks Leo. I needed that.”

“Anytime Josh.” They both hung up. The room was silent for a moment as Josh starred at the phone in his hand. Then there was another knock. 

“Josh, please. We need to talk.” Jsh starred at the door not sure he had the emotional energy to face his boss but knowing he had to. He stood and too tired to try an clean the fresh tear tracks from his face walked to the door. Leaning on the wall next to the door he turned the handle and opened it.

“Josh.” Matt said relieved as the door opened. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have left.” His heart tore a little as he apologised to the stricken looking man. “Can I come in?” He asked having taken too much for granted already that night. Josh nodded and pushed the door open so he could step in. Matt crossed the fresh hold longing to pull Josh into a hug and clean his cheeks but he knew they would have to talk first. “I don’t want to end the Campaign Josh. I don’t want anyone else as my manager. So I’m going to ask you for two things Josh. You can say no if you want and I’ll respect that and we can both carry on with our careers and it won’t come up again. I have to ask though. The first is I want you to go public. I don’t want to spin this when it comes out or ever. I want you to stay as my manager and I think our best bet is if we give a statement. You come clean including when you’ve been so discreet all this time and I’ll tell everyone it doesn’t matter. I’m pretty sure the president will follow our lead on this and back you. We’ll ride out the rumours and gossip and then get on with things. How’s that sound?” Josh listened as Santos talked about the campaign. 

“That’s pretty much what everyone else has told me to. I think you’re probably right. It’s been long enough.” Josh tiredly admitted defeat. He would get Sam to help him with his statement probably.

“That’s the first thing Josh. The second is this. I want this.” Matt reached up and touched his face, thumb rubbing at the salty tracts. “I know I’ve made a lot of mistakes today but I do know better.” Josh turned his face away from his hand.

“What about Helen?” He said quietly holding himself away from the larger man.

“I just spoke to her. She told me to get back in here and look after you or she’d kick me.” He said with a small smile at his heated wife. He stepped back seeing that Josh wasn’t comfortable. “We talked before we married about things. We’re both tops, we knew we might someday want to date subs again. We decided we were okay with that, that it didn’t have to break our marriage as long as we didn’t lie to each other about it. So she told me to see where this goes. For the first time in twelve years I want to do that. I want to remember why I’m a top. I want to look after you Josh.” He finished hoping Josh would say something.

“I think I want to remember why I’m a sub as well. I sometimes feel like I may as well have been a switch all this time.” Matt rushed forward and put his hands on the smaller mans neck.

“Then let me remind you Josh. Just let go for me.” He wiped the man’s cheeks with his thumbs and leaned in to give him a gentler longer but just as possessive a kiss as before. As he pulled back he saw the relaxed eyes again. This time he didn’t run.

Instead he led Josh next to the bed and kissed him again pulling his head back on the brink of pain again this time as he pulled back he guided Josh gently to his knees in front of his bed. He looked down at the man and stroked his head before stepping back. He watched the sub as he slowly removed his coat, jacket and tie and draped them over a chair. He slowly, carefully removed his shirt  thinking about what to do next. He needed to keep it easy, nothing too far until after they’d had the talk but he knew he needed to do something now. Something to make up for earlier. Once he’d removed his shirt he stood, his belt and trousers still in place. He leaned towards Josh and grasped his chin. 

“Eyes down Joshua.” His sightline instantly dropped to the ground. “Good, close your mouth, slow your breathing through your nose.” Matt instructed. Josh struggled more with that instruction but after a minute or two he was mostly contained again. “Put your hands on your thighs just above your knee, keep your elbows in.” Josh looked perfect. He tipped his head down with the chin in his hand. He went into a swat in front of Josh and leaned in to speak gently into his ear.

“I want you to remember this pose Joshua. This is how I want you when I tell you to go down. Just like this wait for me. Do you understand?””

“Yes, sir.” Josh responded quietly. Matts hand instantly went to the back of his neck squeezing tight.

“No Josh, not sir. Never sir or congressman here. Here I’m the only one who gets to do this to you. Me, Matt, not him. Is that clear.” He asked the man so still in his grip. So obedient before him.

“Yes Matt.” 

“Good.” Matt stood and stretched out moving to sit behind Josh on the bed with one leg either side of him. He leaned forward over the kneeling man so his presence surrounded him. Then he reached forward with both hands and grasped the knott of the limp tie still dangling around his neck. I carefully teased the knot open and slid the tie off him putting it on the bed. Then he went to work on the buttons his chest pressing against Josh’s back as he strained to reach the last few. He pulled the shirt and undershirt loose of his trousers and slid the shirt of his shoulders nudging Josh to move so he could take it off entirely. Josh followed his nonverbal command perfectly and went straight back to his pose. Matt smiled impressed. Then he lifted the under shirt off and added it to the pile. Josh swallowed and closed his eyes as he moved back to the pose. It wasn’t until he leaned back forwards to run his hands over the newly exposed skin that Matt realised why.

He knew Josh had been shot. Everyone knew about Roselyn. He’d expected a single small circular scar. He should have known better but Josh wasn’t military. He was a civilian. He wasn’t supposed to have surgery scars running across his chest. But he did. And in two days time this man who had almost given his all for his country was going to be dragged through a swamp by tabloid journalists. 

Matt stroked the skin of the scars wondering if the were numb or sensitive. He thought in the calm of having Josh there of how hard this was going to be but also of how much more clear headed and in control he felt like this than he had in a while. He kissed the top of the subs head.

“Lie on the bed” he murmured. As Josh stood he leaned down and removed his shoes. He stopped Josh and made him lose his too before he got on the bed since Josh was too out of it to notice. He lay net to Josh and pulled him to him so his back was against his chest and just held him nuzzling the back of his neck for a while. The nhe moved back and gently pinched the skin on his spine. He slowly increased the force of his grip until Josh was shaking from it. 

“You can make noise if you want.” He told him as he moved a little down his spine doing it again. As he progressed down never leaving more than a mild bruise Josh shook and grasped slowly the tension leaked from the man and he settled to the bed making pleased humming sounds and little more. By the time Matt reached his belt he was pretty sure Josh was almost asleep. Perfect, he thought and reached over and turned off the light before snuggling back against his sub and falling asleep as well.


	8. A Priest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Matt gets the bum's rush, Josh comes out and Helen talks about safe words

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Discussion of limits, discussion of ptsd

The next morning Matt was woken by the Motel phone ringing. He knew he had a wake up call so he didn’t think before rolling over and picking it up.

“Yeah?” He said into the handset only half awake.

“Mr Lyman, this is your five forty five wake up call.” He paused confused then looked around the room, as he took in Josh’s shoulders just starting to move he realised what he had done.

“Thanks” He hung up and rolled back to Josh gently rubbing his shoulder as he awoke. “Come on sleepy head. That was supposed to be your wake up call.” Josh groaned loudly. Clearly he wasn’t a morning person though anyone who had ever encountered him before nine am could have told you that. Matt just chuckled and kiss his shoulder. Suddenly Josh’s head rocketed of the pillow and he turned to look at Matt.

“Shit,” he said emphatically, “shit, shit, shit.” he said sitting up and looking round the room and back at the clock.

“Well that’s what I like to hear in the morning.” Matt said dryly.

“Your still here. Why are you still here. You can’t still be here.” Josh said running a hand through his hair and shooting out of the bed looking around for Matt’s clothes and accidentally throwing his own shirt at the man.

“What? Josh?” 

“Oh god, we are so screwed.” He said charging around the room.

“Josh, just stop for a second and tell me what’s happening right now. I thought last night was amazing but maybe I’m wrong.” He said sitting up and putting the too small shirt to one side.

“What?! No. Last night was great. I mean really great.” Josh said grinning just at the memory. “Like indescribably great.” he finished.

“Okay, so care to explain why this morning I’m getting the bum’s rush?”

“Well, Matt while last night was amazing and I have to say waking up like this was possibly the best morning after I’ve ever had I can’t have the congressman sneaking out my room in lasts night clothes at six am. SIR. So you need to get out of here before anyone sees you.” Matt finally understood, Josh wasn’t kicking him out because there was something wrong. He was just worried about how it might look if he was seen doing the walk of shame from his campaign managers room the day before it came out that said campaign manager was a sub. 

Santos started moving. He still had his trousers and it only took him a second to throw his shirt on and pick up his coat and tie and go for the door. His feet loosely shove in his shoes.

“Your right. I need to go change and shower before the morning briefing.” 

“Woah!” Josh cried catching him before he could open the door. “You are not opening that door looking like that. Tuck in the shirt, throw your jacket and coat over the top. You can stick the tie in your pocket out of sight. Do up the coat and your shoes.” he cast about him looking for some papers or something for him to carry and his eyes alighted on the coffee pot that had been on a timer. “Perfect.” He said pouring Matt a cup and grabbing some polling data off his table. “Here carry these with you. If anyone asks you dropped by early to talk about the polling. You change into a similar suit and a new shirt anyone notices tell them you spilt coffee on yourself when you got back to your room and had to change.” Matt just looked at him in shock. In under five minutes since waking up Josh had got him sorted and given him a perfect alibi. Thank god the evil genius was on his side. He didn’t have time to think about it anymore as Josh shoved him at the door and then paused. He stepped over to him.

“Last night was great and trust me, if we could I’d be locking the door instead of shoving you out it but we have staff briefing at half six, your briefing at seven and a breakfast event at seven forty five. All of which we both need to be showered and dressed for.”

“I get it Josh. And your right if we didn’t have those things that door wouldn’t be opening till we got hungry. But I don’t want this to just be a campaign fling where we hook up just when we have free time. We need to have the talk so I know what’s okay.”

“I hate the talk.” Josh spat looking away from Matt.

“I’m not a huge fan either but Helen’s already pissed with me for last night and she’d probably kill me if she found out we skipped the talk.”

“Helen’s pissed about last night!?” Josh asked his eyes wide having clearly not heard the second half of his statement.

“Yeah, she took me apart for walking out on you remember. Helen’s okay with this but she’d kill me for being irresponsible about it again and we shouldn’t anyway. So find some time in that insane schedule for us to talk so that next time we can have some real fun.”

“Yes, Matt.” Josh said with a grin. Real fun sounded good then it hit Josh.

“I’m going to need to talk to Helen first.” he said. He needed to know for certain she was okay and check what he was allowed to do with and offer Matt. The last thing he wanted was to ruin the man’s marriage.

“I told you she’s fine with this.” Matt countered confused why Josh didn’t trust him on that.

“She’s also your wife so I just want to talk and see if she has any rules we should keep in mind before the talk. I just need to hear from her okay.” Josh tried to explain very aware they didn’t have time for this as he glanced at the clock and realised he was rapidly running out of time for a shower and coffee before the staff briefing.

“Fine, find time for a call and a talk, preferably today Josh.” Matt said firmly before hooking Josh by the back of the neck and pulling him into a quick but fierce kiss. “Now, I’m ready to leave. See you soon.” He let go of Josh who hovered on the balls of his feet for a second before smiling as he watched Santos leave and then shot into action to squeeze in a shower and a shave before he dressed and headed to his first briefing of the day.

\--*--

There was no way Josh was going to fit in the call or the talk today. With the news of the press statement the next day everything had erupted into chaos and any spare time he’d had had been spent working on his statement and proofing versions of Santos statement of support. The press conference was scheduled for first thing but they were ready getting calls for comment as the story got out amongst the press. So far there was nothing on TV. Looked like everyone was waiting on the proof before they moved on the rumour.

Josh was terrified about this statement. He didn’t call Sam in the end, Sam would want to make it into some big inspirational thing and that wasn’t Josh. Instead he went to the one man he knew who could make candor and broken honesty sound good.

“Josh.” He drawled.

“Toby. CJ tell you yet?”

“Tell me what?”

“Sunday’s my reluctant coming out.”

“Well shit Josh. You could have timed that better.”

“I know, I need to make a statement but I’m not sure how to say ‘I hid it for twenty years because I didn’t want to have to constantly deal with shit just to prove I could do my job’ and make it sound good.” 

“It’s a tough one Josh. Have you thought about just addressing the issue head on? Don’t make this about you hiding but make it about the fact that the press seem to think that your preference changes anything. You should make it clear that you were never elected, you didn’t ever lie on a form. If you preference is a protected attribute that you are not required to disclose to your employer then it shouldn’t have to be the public of a civil servant. Make it about protected attributes in general not preference in particular.” Josh was silent for a moment.

“Toby you’re a genius.” He gasped taking in the idea.

“I know.”

“This going to line up with your side?”

“I wrote a couple of versions for the President. This lines up with my favourite. What time are you guys going live.”

“Eight o’clock catch most of the morning shows.”

“We’ll put him on at Nine then. Clear the water before it has too much time to muddy.”

“Seriously Toby, you’re a lifesaver.”

\--*--

“...we hold these truths to be self evident that all men are made equal. That is why we protect the rights of people against discrimination. Part of that is the right to privacy. I am sorry that I hid this for so long. I’m even more sorry that in this country over the next few days there will be insinuation and accusation of wrongdoing based purely on my preference leveled against my friends and colleges. I hope that people will respect my privacy and theirs and that they will refrain from questioning the professionalism of people who have worked alongside submissives without an issue for years.” Josh finished and stepped back to yield the floor to Santos.

He took it from there and offered his support. He said that he was aware of Josh’s preference and did not believe it affected his ability to do his job in the slightest. Josh felt a little proud of the previous morning as he said that. He went on to say that protected traits and discrimination issues were a key part of what he wanted to address in this country particularly through education.

\--*--

Josh spent a lot of time after that tell the press he wasn’t going to discuss the details of his love life. The big question he struggled with was “Are you currently seeing anyone?” He had known he would have to answer that. In the end he settled on:

“I’m not in a long term relationship at the moment.”

“Does that mean you’re dating?”

“Do I look like I have time to be dating?”

The classic non-denial denial. That and telling a lot of people who knew and who didn’t. He was busy keeping the press off the rest of the campaign for hours. 

Once he was done he staggered back in to headquarters and picked up the reports on his desk. He rubbed his head as he looked at the thickness of the papers, huffed and sat down to work through them. The office was still fairly busy but starting to empty when he started at 7pm. Matt had been off doing an event. Hopefully he hadn’t got too many questions about that morning but it would be too much to think he’d get none. As he finished looking at them he glanced up at the clock to see it was already ten. The office had emptied. 

He stood a scribbled some note for the morning before packing some things into his backpack and heading back to the hotel.

\--*--

He’d been back for all of five minutes when someone knocked on the door. He didn’t pause before opening it expecting some sort of last minute report. 

“Yeah?” He asked still puzzling over some numbers. 

“Josh.” Matt said trying to get his attention. Josh looked up and instantly stepped back to let him in.

“Sorry, sir. I was distracted. It’s been a long day. Do you need something?” He didn’t want to presume.

“It’s been two days Josh and you haven’t found time to call Helen.” He stared at the sub pointedly and stepped into the room.

“Yeah, sorry about that Matt. I really haven’t had time.” He looked at the top nervous about his response.

“Josh, I know this is gonna be difficult but we’re going to have to make some time. I mean it’s a ten minute call.”

“Yeah, sure I’ll just call up my candidates wife and ask if it’s okay to have sex with him on my way to the press brief.” Josh said trying to make a joke about it. “We’re both surrounded by people all day. When am I supposed to fit that call in?” He asked.

“I don’t know Josh but your the one who feels the need to ask. I’d love to just have the talk and get on with this but we can’t.” Santos complained.

“Just get on with this?! Oh, yeah. Great, now I feel like a chore.” Josh returned.

“That’s not what I meant and you know it.” Matt returned sharply. Josh rubbed his face with both hands.

“Fine. Give me your phone and get out.” He told his top not willing to look him in the eye.

“What?” Matt asked confused.

“Come on, come on. What’s the time difference between here and texas?” He asked glancing up to see the bafflement on Matts face. “I don’t have her number. I’m assuming you do. Give me the phone and quarter of an hour. I’ll call Helen now and be at your room when I’m done.” Matt stared at him for a moment.

“You know you have to be the bossiest sub I’ve ever met.” He said frankly digging his phone out of his pocket.

“Yeah, you and everyone else.” He said with a smirk taking the phone and reopening the door for Matt. 

“Fifteen minutes Josh. Or I’ll come looking for you.” He warned the sub. “Texas is an hour behind, she should still be up. Tell her I said hi.” He left and closed the door behind him heading back to his room trying not to guess what they would be talking about.

\--*--

The phone rang as Josh sat down on the bed pulling his tie off. 

“Hi hon. I just got the kids to bed. They’ll be disappointed they missed your call.” Helen’s voice came over the line.

“It’s Josh.” He told her.

“Ah, finally the Josh call.” She said her tone changing. 

“Sorry. It’s been a long couple of days.” Josh said thinking back over the last few days. A lot had happened.

“You okay? That rumour mill is getting pretty vicious. All stupid but I know that doesn’t always make it easier.”

“Yeah. I’m holding in there. Hopefully it’ll quiet down soon. Though it is giving us a lot of press.” Josh had to acknowledge that up side.

“Josh.”

“Yeah.”

“Matt said you wanted to talk before the talk?”

“Yeah. I do.” Josh took a deep breath. “I want to check with you what’s okay. The last thing I want to do is get in the way of your marriage so if there are any lines you want to draw I’m okay with that.” Josh said strained by the awkwardness of the conversation.

“Josh, I know what your asking but I’m not that insecure. I don’t want to be jealous of you. I don’t plan to be. If I start putting limits on this. I’m basically saying you are a threat to our marriage and I don’t think that. What me and Matt have is solid. It’s not just about one thing like sex but our life together so no limits. I want you and Matt to focus on working out how this works for you, not me.” She told him it all slowly and certainly. She’d had most of two days to think about it. “Do you want me to limit it?” She asked wondering if he was actually trying to get her to put limits on so he did have to.

“No, not if you don’t want to. Are you sure though? Nothing”

“Josh, there is nothing Matt’s okay with that I have a problem with. What are your limits?” Maybe he really did need to have the talk before he had the talk.

“I don’t know.” He replied.

“Come on Josh what’s your normal list. What did you tell other people when you had the talk.” She asked wondering if it was something really strange he was into.

“I sort of haven’t had the talk before.” He mumbled.

“Josh!” She exclaimed “How have you not had the talk?!”

“I don’t normally get involved enough for it and with my girlfriends it just never came up.” Helen tutted.

“Well, your with a proper top now Josh and your going to have to set some limits. So is there anything that you have no interest in at all. You need to be clear about these sorts of lines so think of anything that people get into and you aren’t interested in and tell me.”

“I guess I don’t like blood. I like pain but not blood, so no cutting or over doing it with a flogger.”

“Good, that’s a useful limit to know for a top. Does that include biting?”

“Mostly yes. I don’t mind occasionally going a little to far but no raging bloody teeth marks.”

“What about other bodily fluids?” She seemed uncomfortable.

“What? Like urine and feces? I’m not in to that either.” He said distastefully.

“Good to know but I was thinking more in terms of cum. How are you on that?”

“I’m okay with pretty much anything to do with my cum.” He said still very uncomfortable.

“What about Matt’s? Where are you okay with a top cumming on you?” Josh was silent for a moment.

“I don’t know. I’ve never been with a man before.” He said knowing honesty was the only way to do this.

“Okay, so is there anything that you don’t like the idea of Josh? What do you not want to try?” He thought about this for a moment thought about the fantasies that had been running through his head for the last couple of days.

“Nothing.” He said simply.

“Josh that’s a pretty big scope. Are you sure there’s nothing?”

“Helen I’m a pretty open minded guy. Keep blood, piss and shit out of it and I’m probably into it.”

“Anything?”

“Well, I’m also not in to womens clothes, make-up or anything so public it might make the news but the first two I can be flexible if my partners into it.” 

“Gods Josh. Your going to kill him.” She half groaned into the phone. “I think the two of you need to talk about safe words.”

“Seriously. Aren’t those for kids. I thought the whole point of the talk was so we didn’t need safe words.”

“Yeah if you both know what you like and your limits. But Josh you have no idea what you’re okay with and Matt hasn’t done this in years. You should seriously consider a pause and stop safeword just to be sure. You don’t want to end up being pushed into anything that ruins things.” Josh thought about that and realised he needed to add something to his list.

“I need to add loud noises. Not so much since if they’re high pitched but anything too deep. It… it can trigger memories.”

“Shit Josh. Your list should really lead with that. You should definitely have a safe word in case that happens.” Josh nodded then realised she wouldn’t see that.

“Yeah, yeah we will.” He told her. “I think I should go talk to Matt now.” 

“Okay, take the phone. I want to have a quick word with him as well.” Josh stood up and decided not to bother grabbing his jacket or coat. He did think to dig out his own phone though before he headed out the door. 

Josh knocked and when Matt answered and handed him the phone before he headed inside past Matt.

“Helen.” Josh watched as Matt smiled and nodded and uh hmmed into the phone. “How are the kids?” he asked. He laughed at the response. “Give them a kiss from me. Love you got to go.” He finished looking intently at Josh. He stepped forward and caught Josh’s chin and pulls him in for heated kiss. They stayed that way for a while Josh’s hands on his shoulders his round the man’s waist his thumbs hooking inside the back of Josh’s trousers. 

“I’ve been wanting to do that for days.” Matt said when he finally pulled back. Josh just grinned. “We should talk though” He said dropping his forehead against Josh’s.

“Yeah, yeah. We should do that.”Josh answered taking deep breaths. They broke apart and both took a moment. Santos moved to sit on the bed trying to keep his hands to himself. Josh hovered, sort of bobbing on his feet for a moment.

“Josh, sit down.” Josh’s head shot to him and he seemed to realise how restless he was being. He sat in a chair though. “Okay. Hit me with it. What’s the list?” Josh was so glad just then that he’d talked to Helen already.

“First is more a warning than a firm no. Since the shooting I can get triggered by loud noises. I need you to know that.” Josh paused to see what Matt thought of that.

“I’ll be careful with that then. Can you tell when it’s happening?” He asked.

“Sometimes. Normally. It doesn’t happen often.” He tried to explain.

“Do you want to talk about it now?”

“No, I think I want to get on with the list if that’s alright?” Matt just nodded for him to go ahead.

“I don’t do blood, urine or shit. Ever, please.”

“No worries there. Not my bag either. Though if I get a little carried away how firm is that blood limit?”

“Pretty firm Matt. A little blood on an over enthusiastic bight fine but I don’t ever want to bleed from a beating.”

“I can work with that.” Matt said with certainty.

“I don’t do cross dressing or feminisation. I can be a little flexible on that but it just doesn’t do it for me.” He said watching Matt again. He nodded and didn’t seem disappointed. “Nothing too public either. Less a hot or not thing I just don’t want to risk anything in the press.” Matt nodded on that one.

“I’m with you there. We do not need that kind of problem right now. Anything else?”

“Just another need to know. I’ve never done this with a guy before. Not past a little slap and tickle.” He waited for Matt to look horrified.

“Thanks for telling me. Helen mentioned it.” Matt paused to decide what to say. “In all honesty, for me it’s a huge turn on. I understand that it means we’ll need to take at least some of this slowly. Is there anything your not interested in on that front Josh?” Matt asked meaningfully. Josh swallowed thinking about it.

“No.” He said hollowly. “No, I want to try everything.” He clarified.

”That’s your list then? Nothing else?” He asked wanting to be completely clear.

“That’s it.” Josh said leaning back glad to have made it through that so smoothly.

“Here my list. At least for now. Of things I want to do. You can say no to any of them.” He looked pointedly at him. “After we’re going to talk about a couple of safe words or signals.” There was no room for argument in that statement. “I want bight you, beat you, spank you, tie you up and gag you. We okay so far?” Josh just nodded incredibly turned on. “I also want you on your knees while I feed you. I want to waiting at my feet. I want to stroke you and kiss you.” He stood up and moved over to him. He leaned over Josh much like he had two nights ago. “I want to fuck you. I want to use you mouth and your arse. Your tongue and hands.” He murmured into Josh’s ear. “I want to fill you up and cover you with my cum.” He pulled back to look Josh in the eye. “Any questions?” Josh just shook his head. 

“Right, then I need two safewords and a signal for when you can’t speak.” He moved back to the bed and sat down waiting for Josh to pull himself back together enough to think.

“Two safewords?”

“One for if I’m taking it too far and you just want me to backup or stop intensifying things. The over is for if you need everything to stop.”

“So one to hold up, one to stop?”

“That’s it.”

“Congress and veto.” He said as the words popped into his head. Matt chuckled. 

“I like it. That’ll work. Nonverbal next.” Josh glanced around completely unsure. 

“I don’t know. What kind of thing are you thinking?”

“Varies. Some subs can work with a tap out prefer something else since they flail normally.”

“I can’t deny that might become an issue.” Josh smirked.

“Gods Josh, your going to kill me.” Matt said with a groan covering his face and falling back on the bed. 

“What if I click. Once to slow down, two in a row to stop.” Josh suggested 

“That’ll work.” Matt said pausing. Breathing deep to take in the fact that they were done. They’d had the talk. Now the fun could really begin.


	9. A Prayer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Matt and Josh have fun and Josh stays the night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sex, don't like don't read

Matt sat up and looked to where Josh was still sat in the chair. He was just wearing his shirt open at the neck and his trousers. Even though it was freezing out he hadn’t thrown anything over the top. Santos got to his feet. He was down to his shirt as well. He rolled up his sleeves to just below the elbow.

“Stand and strip.” He told Josh. He watch as Josh scrambled to his feet and started hopping on one foot and pulling his shoes and socks off. It was an amusing couple of minutes before Josh stood before him completely bare and half hard. Matt walked up to him and admired his surprisingly toned body. He’d made sure to stay in some sort of shape since the shooting and all the recovery after. He gripped Josh’s hair and leaned in. “Now down boy.” He told Josh before letting go. Josh went to his knees and bowed his head. He even remembered his breathing. Matt waited and watched as Josh settled in. God it felt good, felt powerful to see Josh like that.

“Good boy.” he said running his hand through Josh’s hair. “Now we’re going to take this slow. I don’t want to hurt you.” He leaned over and murmured in Josh’s ear “Not like that anyway.” He couldn’t help himself though. He stepped back from Josh and undid his belt taking it off for comfort and putting it on the sideboard. He undid his fly and pulled his heavy cock out through the opening. He was pretty hard, though not completely as yet. He pumped it a couple of times looking at Josh.

“For now we’ll start with your mouth.” He said stepping forward. Josh got his first sight of it. He swallowed. It was big. It wasn’t huge but it was big. “Open” Josh considered seeing what would happen if he didn’t. Then he decided to trust Matt. He opened his mouth and Matt pushed forward pressing his tip in and against Josh’s tongue. “Go on. Suck it, lick it. Explore.” Josh was very focused when given a task. 

He started by running his tongue around it pulling back to lick a little way along the shaft as well. It tasted fantastic. Heavy and warm in his mouth. Matt was watching him the whole time his breathing heavy and a hand resting lightly on his head. Josh wrapped his lips solidly round the head and decided to try somethings. He sucked at it lightly rolling his tongue against it. Then as Matt groaned he let it pop from his mouth and blew over the dampness. Matts grunted on the end of the groan.

“I knew that mouth would be good at this.” He moaned. Josh went back taking more of it in but struggling straight away. Matt pulled him off. “Hey, hey, hey. No rush, Josh. This is enough for tonight. We’ll work up to more.” He stepped away and moved the chair from behind Josh so he could kneel there. He kissed his way across and down Josh’s back. “Lean forward, bum up, Josh” He said softly. Josh complied moving to rest himself on his elbows and knees. “Perfect.” Matt crooned running his hands over Josh’s but cheeks. He massaged them for a while then pulling them apart blew across Josh’s opening. Josh shivered and keened.

Matt ran his tongue over that pink opening. 

“Can’t wait till I can start filling this. He said running his fingers over the pucker. “We’ll have to wait till we have more supplies cause this is going to need stretching first and I’ll need something to help make things smooth.” He leaned forward over Josh and kissed the back of his neck. “I already gave Helen a list of supplies to bring next time she visits. Should hopefully keep the shopping below the radar.” He bit the scruff of Josh’s neck loving the feel of Josh slumping more beneath him. “I think it’s time we took this to the bed though.” Neither of them were still young both their knees would appreciate the bed.

He stood took off the his shirt, trousers and boxers. Josh slowly got up off the floor with Matt giving him a hand at one point. He had Josh on his hands and knees on the bed. He reached around and played with Josh’s nipples. Pinching and pulling at them while he rubbed himself against his back. Josh groaned as the pain washed over him as he moved towards Matts hand and it pushed him up and back against his cock. He felt used and controlled and he loved it. He was so surrounded by Matt and his attention. His own dick was straining desperate to be touched like it would go the instant Matt did. 

Finally Matt sped up against his back and took one hand off his nipple. He grabbed the crease of Josh’s thigh the edge of his hand just touching the base of Josh’s cock.

“Do you want me to touch it?” He asked.

“Please. Please...please” Josh gasped still shaking and groaning from the torture of his nipple. 

“Good boy.” He whispered and kissed Josh’s back and grasped the subs cock. It exploded pouring over the bed. The sight and feel of Josh losing it with barely a touch had him cumming it over his back. Matt held just enough control to fall sideways and avoid the mess. He pulled Josh sideways with him to make sure he didn’t go forward into it either. He thought for a second that condoms might be a good idea in future.

They lay there for a while both recovering. Matt eventually got up and got a washcloth to 

clean Josh’s back. He’d used a spare to wipe the sheet. Then he went to cuddle up with Josh but went to sit up with a groan. 

“I should head back to my own room.” He mumbled still groggy.

“Shut up and get back in bed Josh. I didn’t say you could get up.” Matt ordered. “I already set an early alarm for kick out. Now come back here and sleep.” Josh looked at him hold his trousers.

“Thank you.” He said crawling back on to the bed. Matt pulled him into his arms and they kissed for a while. 

“Hmm, sleep time Josh. Night.”

“Night Matt.” his sub replied.

\--*--

They carried on for a few weeks stealing night in hotels. They both regretted the stem-cell vote that lead to Helen not meeting them in Hartford. They were both getting desperate. If it had continued much longer Josh swore he was going to send and inter out for lube. Santos would blow his top. He was firm that they had to keep that sort of thing private. He also didn’t appreciate Josh’s suggestion of just using hand lotion.

\--*--

Finally they picked Helen up on the way to La Palabra. Josh wanted to run in but he’d agreed with Matt the night before that the husband and wife needed some time together. Josh had agreed to give them the couple of nights to themselves. Not that Josh was likely to be able to find time this close to Super Tuesday anyway. 


	10. A Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Helen asks a question, Matt gets insecure and Josh enjoys the new toys.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Sex, don't like don't read. Face fucking, dildos and butt plugs all involved.

 

Josh hated having to give the Santos’ the news that they were running out of money. He watched Matt suggest mortgaging the house. He couldn’t let him do that, they had kids. He couldn’t let him take that risk. He was so glad when Helen asked to see him and looked like she wanted to talk about it.

“What’s the chance we come 2nd?”

“Small.” Josh told her honestly. “Don’t sign the papers.” They stared at each other letting the weight of everything hang between them.

“Josh, what’s the chance this carries on?” Helen finally asked.

“I don’t know. Right now, not good.” He said quietly.

“I didn’t mean the campaign Josh.” She responded. He was quiet for a few moments. He had to know this couldn’t last. He was happier than he’d been in a long time, more focused.

“We’ll stop. I don’t want to come in the way of your marriage.” He said turning to look away from her. She came up to him and put a hand on his shoulder.

“That’s not what I meant Josh.” She told him emphatically. “I have to admit though I am jealous. I tried not to be but it was hard. Matt tells me about what you do. I asked him to.” 

“I don’t understand… if you don’t want us to sleep together we can stop. If it’s a problem we can stop.” Helen sighed, she was going to have to say it.

“I don’t have a problem with you two sleeping together. I’m jealous because I miss being a top. I miss that. Matt gets to have that with you, it makes him so much better. You saw him earlier. He’s sure of himself and so comfortable in his skin since you two got together. I miss that. It’s hard seeing you, knowing what the two of you do together and not feel jealous.” Josh turned to look at her slowly shocked.

“Your jealous of Matt?!” He said his voice going high with indignation. No one had been jealous of him as a sub before. 

“Josh, I don’t know how to convince you of this but your hot. God, how any top can look at you and not want to put you on your knees for them I don’t know.”

“Mrs Santos I don’t know what to do.” He said honestly looking at her. 

“Nothing right now Josh, just answer a question for me? If Matt was okay with it, would you be interested in letting me top you?” She asked him and the words hung between them Josh didn’t really understand still why she was asking but he’d always tried to be honest with the Santos’.

“Yeah, yeah I’d be interested.” He got it out and then looked at his watch. “Excuse me, I have to go.” He left the room. The worst part was knowing that for all that he wouldn’t have  a chance to talk to Matt or do anything for the next few days. It was Matt and Helen time and he had work to do. He needed to keep them in the running and find some more funding.

\--*--

They won California. Josh was ecstatic. They were going to Texas on the campaign trail and they were still on the ride. After the interviews were over then the next day Helen headed back to the kids and Matt and Josh stayed on the tail. It was the next night that Josh went to Matt’s room. He and Matt should have supplies at long last and they were now in second.

Josh knocked on the door and waited longer than usual. It seemed to take forever for Matt to answer. He was normally quick not wanting Josh to be seen waiting in the corridor. Finally Josh knocked a second time and the door opened almost instantly. Matt was standing there. He’d already taken off his shirt for the night and was just in his trousers and bare feet.

“What do you want Josh?” He asked him. Josh’s face fell. He had no idea what was going on right now. He rubbed the back of his head and awkwardly twisted on his feet.

“Sorry, I guess this is a bad time. I’ll…” He pointed down the corridor “I’ll just go.” He started to walk. Matt sighed heavily and grabbed him pulling him in the room and closing the door heavily behind him.

“What do you want Josh?” He asked pacing across the room. “Cause I thought we had something good going here and now I find out it’s not enough for you?” He asked pleadingly.

“What do you mean, ‘not enough’? I love this. This is amazing. Who told you that?” Josh asked fiercely. Matt stopped abruptly and looked at Josh clearly seething. He looked at the bed and the duffle bag next to the bed.

“Get on the bed Josh. I can’t have this conversation like this. Get on the bed. Down.” He ordered and after weeks of acclimation Josh went down pretty quick. He was nervous about what was about to happen but he had to trust Matt. He always trusted Matt. He got on the bed on hands and knees how Matt usually prefered him. He heard Matt move behind him and dig something out of the bag. “Josh undress.” He moved to do as he was told and as he turned removing his trousers he saw Matt was standing there holding a flail. He swallowed and finished undressing and moved back to his bed.

“Josh, your going to count them for me.” He told him. The first lick across his back stung and he gasped out.

“One.” The hits kept coming and a raw sore ache built up in his back. He loved it. He was sobbing the count as he went, his mind was so empty.

Matt finally huffed and stopped at twenty. The flail was soft so it hadn’t broken the skin. He stood breathing heavily from the whole thing watching Josh snuffle into the sheets, his arms had gone at about fifteen. He sat on the bed where Josh could see him and pushed Josh on his side. He ran his fingers through the subs hair massaging his scalp. 

“So perfect for me Josh. Why isn’t this enough?” He asked. 

“I don’t know what you mean Matt.” He said softly.

“Helen told me she asked you and you said yes.” He said gently pulling at his hair. He really liked that.

“Was Helen not enough for you?” Josh asked his filters down in this state. He regretted saying it straight away.

“You don’t talk about her like that Josh.” He said tugging more firmly on the hair.

“You said yes to me though. Even though Helen was enough. It’s not that your not enough Matt. Helen wanted a sub, she wanted me. She told me she’d ask if it was okay with you. I said if it was okay with you then yes. I like the idea of her topping me. I like the idea of your wife topping me as well. It makes things easier as well.” Matt chuffed out a self deprecating laugh.

“How does it make things easier?” he asked.

“This way I know who I am around her. It’s hard. She’s my candidates wife and my top’s wife but she’s a top as well and she’s someone I’ve talked to about my list who I know you’ve told all about our sex life. It’s hard to know how to act around her. If she’s my top then it’s easy. Then I’m just your sub and a campaign manager.” He said it all softly sometimes yawning. Matt looked at him and stroked his face. When Josh was finished talking he leaned in and kissed him hard like he was trying to fuck his mouth. Josh groaned into it.

“Sorry Josh. I hadn’t thought about that. I do like the idea of you on your knees for both of us though. I just, got a little insecure. I’ll tell Helen it’s okay. Were at the house later this week. I want you to meet the kids first but then I’ll try and make sure you two get some time together.”  Josh looked astonished and a little panicky.

“You want me to meet your kids?” he murmured.

“Yeah Josh, it’s been almost two months, if we’re both going to date you I want you to meet our kids.” He said cheerfully like it was the simplest thing,

“Matt, we can’t tell them anything. If they go into school and start talking about dad’s new sub it’ll kill us.” Matt groaned in frustration rolling away from Josh for a moment.

“Your right. I hate it but your right. You can still meet them as my campaign manager and my friend though Josh.” Josh chucked at the idea.

“Okay, I can do that.” He said once again trusting Matt. 

“Good, cause now we have that settled I want to have some more fun with the toys Helen brought. You feeling ready for more?” He rubbed Josh’s back lightly as he asked. Josh hissed but it was a pleased sound. 

“Yes Matt.”

\--*--

Matt had worked one finger into Josh and the sub was groaning and begging. 

“Please, please Matt. I need more. Fuck me please.” Matt laughed, he loved how desperate Josh got on his fingers. It was amazing now they had lube to play with.

“Sorry Josh. It’ll be awhile before your ready for that. I do have something for you though and plans.” Josh groaned with frustration. “See, I know I’m big. I don’t want to hurt you. So I had Helen get me a set of dildos and plugs. We’re going to work you till your nice and stretched and I can pound that arse whenever I want.” Josh gasped at the idea. “Like the sound of that do you. Well how about we see if I can get you to come with just a dildo and then we’ll put a plug in for a while. Do you like the sound of that?” Matt rumbled.

“Gods, yes Matt. Yes I like that. Please, please, please.” He chanted.

“For another night, I have a ball gag for that mouth of yours.” Matt had a feeling they were going to need it. Josh tried to keep it down but it was obvious he wanted to be loud. He pulled out his fingers and wiped them. He already had the dildo lubed and sat on a cloth. He gently touched it to Josh’s whole and the man tried to squirm back against him. He put on his back to still him but he kept fidgeting. “Fine,” he said getting off the bed.

“No!” Josh called to him worried. “I’ll keep still. I’m sorry.”

“You will.” Matt said straightening up from the bag. Josh grinned at the sight of velcro cuff in his hands. Josh rolled over and held out his hands to him. “Uh uh. I don’t think so. Roll back over.” 

Lying on his face Josh relaxed completely as Matt picked up each hand in turn and attached the cuffs and then clipped them together. 

“Get on your knees again.” Josh shifted his weight about so he was kneeling up. Then Matt grinned as he used a hand on his back to push him face first onto the bed. The cuffs were great. With a firm hand on his back Josh couldn’t really move as Matt gently started to insert to dildo. Josh let out a long low moan. Matt started to twist and turn the dildo looking for Josh’s prostate. When he found it Josh yelped. “Shh. Josh we really need to keep it down. It’ll be hard to explain your girlish shouts to the neighbours.” He chuckled. Josh bit the pillow to keep himself quiet as Matt started to rub the dildo back and forth across his prostate.

They took their time after that. Matt interchanged between pumping the dildo in and out of his hole and using it to stroke his prostate. It was amazing and Josh was destroyed and so hard that when Matt finally muttered. “Come for me Josh.” and it was almost painful as he did. Matt was still hard as a rock but he gave Josh a couple of minutes to recover before he pulled out the dildo and replaced it with a slightly bigger plug. He kissed his but cheeks and massaged them loving the sight. 

“You okay Josh?” He asked the sub as he moved up the bed to him. Josh nodded a little into the pillow his face slack and his eyes closed. Matt needed more confirmation though so he grabbed his hair lightly. “Josh eyes open. Are you okay?” Josh cracked his eyes open still dazed.

“Uh huh.” He said with a small nod and then closed his eyes again. Matt grinned broadly at his blissed out sub. Josh stayed slumped as Matt opened his trousers and pushed them off, his boxers going with them. 

“Josh” he murmured pulling the sub to him as he sat back against the pillows. Josh understood what he wanted straight away going to work suckling his tops throbbing cock. Matt leaned back with a sigh just enjoying Josh’s ministrations. This was an area of fast improvement over the last couple of months. Josh was quickly becoming an expert in seeing to his large member with his mouth. Matt wasn’t surprised that Josh had a multi-talented mouth. It had taken him a while to work out what to do with this much dick but Matt had made him build up to taking it all and now he did so no problem. He plunged his mouth down the whole length groaning at the feel of it. Josh was still so relaxed other than his shoulders and throat which were straining at their work. 

Matt didn’t want Josh working, he still had his hands behind him and Matt didn’t want him to strain his shoulders. He shifted around to a good angle and gripping his neck encouraged Josh’s head back before he started to gently thrust. This was the surprising part. In just two months Josh could already just relax, focus on his breathing and enjoy the feeling as Matt fucked his throat. Matt was amazed. He’d had subs for longer who’d never been able to take all of him without gagging and choking. Josh just took it, his eyes mostly closed relaxed back into the blissed out headspace. He’d moan and groan at the feeling which felt great around his cock but otherwise he’d just let Matt go for it. He sped up at he watched Josh take his dick again and again. Josh opened his eyes and looked up at him, his eyes so relaxed and pleased with himself. Matt swore the man would be smirking if he’d had room to and that thought pushed him over the edge shooting down Josh’s throat not at all worried Josh would drink it all down no problem. 

As he pulled down Josh’s mouth looked wrecked and there was a little drool and the odd tear on his cheek which Matt wiped away. 

“Such a good boy for me.” He said looking down at him as he snuffled at the pillow shifting to move closer to Matt’s side. Matt leaned over and kissed his head as he opened the clip the joined the cuffs to each other. Josh pulled his arms to his front and murmured something unintelligible. Matt shifted them under the covers and Josh latched around him like a limpet. Grinning pleased Matt just let him lie across his chest and turned off the light. He had set an early alarm and they were in his room. They’d found to was very easy to convince people that Josh had worked all night and come in for an early meeting with him before going back to his room to change. It was going to be okay, he’d call Helen and talk properly, last talk he’d not really contributed. Now the idea of sharing Josh with her just seemed obvious. He’d sort of been doing it all along he realised. Why else had he been so excited to tell her about it all the time? Everything had always been better in the past when he’d shared it with her. He suspected Josh would be the same.


	11. 'Hey'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Long chapter
> 
> In which Josh meets the kids, Peter asks difficult questions and Helen and Josh have fun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has to be one of my favorite chapters, lots of cute moments.
> 
> WARNINGS: Bondage, use of a safe word, mention of orgasm denial

As they rapped up the last event of the day a Josh was shitting bricks. Officially Matt wanted to take a night off so had talked  Josh into coming over for dinner and staying in the spare bedroom so the rest of the campaign could carry on and Josh being out the loop for the next day or so wouldn’t be able to drag Matt into work. It was also a chance for Josh and Helen to get to know each other better before the summer when school broke up and Helen was going to be on the campaign more.

So mostly it was the truth they just left out that it was also time for Josh to meet the kids and for him and Helen to have some time alone while Matt took the kids to the park for the first time in months. Before Josh could start a conversation with anyone and suggest that he was needed for anything else Matt caught him round the shoulders.

“Looking forward to dinner Josh?” He said with a grin at Josh looking so uncomfortable. “We’re on the road in 30. I’m driving, I got us a hire car. You should change first though. Family dinner is a casual affair at ours. Lets loose the suits and get on the road.” He let go and said goodbye and sent the rest of the campaign on it’s way.

Meanwhile Josh lumbered back to his room and dug into the depths of his bag looking for casual clothes. After a lot of checking he had a pair of jean, an old Mets t-shirt he sometimes slept in and sweater he didn’t remember buying. He really didn’t like the idea of meeting Matt’s kids looking like he didn’t own real clothes. He chuckled at that thought. He sort of didn’t own real clothes on the trail. He barely found to wear anything other than a suit at the white house. Josh was just closing up his bag as Matt knocked on his door.

“30 minutes Josh.” The sub picked up his jacket and grabbed his bag off the bed. He opened the door a little embarrassed and not looking Matt in the eye.

“Sorry, this is all I have. I didn’t pack for for family dinners.” Josh mumbled to the congressman. Matt lifted his face to look him in the eye.

“Josh, this is fine.” He leaned around him to check out his ass. “I like the jeans.” He grinned. He could see how tense and worried Josh was. He pulled the man into a kiss with a hand on the back of his head. “You’re great, everyone’s going to like you. You don’t need a suit to impress anyone. Your pretty impressive just like this. Cute to.” Josh smiled a little at that.  

“Come on. We should get on the road.”

\--*--

The drive was comfortable, they talked about the campaign. Then Matt talked about basketball and Josh fired back the latest on baseball. It took him awhile but Josh sort of forgot where he was going and relaxed. Then they turned off the highway and Josh started to worry again. He’d never met the family before. No shovel talk, no parents, only the very occasional sibling who happened to be in town but even that had generally been a hi and a bye kind of deal. He didn’t do serious.

“Soooo… how old is Peter again?”

“Peter just turned six, Miranda is five. Josh, are you trying to get me to brief you on my kids.” Matt asked as they cruised through his home neighbourhood.

“No.” Said Josh jumping in his seat. “No, I wouldn’t do that… yes.” He finished quietly.

“Josh, relax. They’re kids. They’re not that hard. You don’t need to treat them like a republican senator you need to shake down for a vote.” He gave his sub a pointed look. “Just treat them like people.” He remembered how Josh treated most people. “But don’t shout at them or belittle them.” Suddenly Matt was a little nervous. “Your just their as my friend.” He pulled up to the curb outside his own home. Matt sat for a moment and reached over and squeezed Josh’s hand. “You’ll be fine Josh. The kids will like you.” he leaned over and gave Josh a quick kiss on the head as he saw the door open knowing his family would be out in a second and if he didn’t get out quick they’d overwhelm Josh.

As expected after he got out of his car he looked over to see Helen and the kids stood at the door. He moved around the car and held out his arms and Peter ran over to him. He couldn’t believe how much he missed the feel of his kid in his arms. Helen came over and gave him a kiss holding Miranda who demanded a kiss. He gave her one. He loved his little family. He missed his extended family.

Helen looked a little concerned and Matt realised that Josh hadn’t got out of the car. He turned back. He should sort this. He put Peter down.

“Give me two seconds guys.” He said to the kids and Helen. He went back to the car and knocked his hand on the roof. “Josh get out the car.” He ordered. He opened the door for him. Josh reluctantly stepped out. He had to stop himself putting a hand on the small of Josh’s back as he closed the car door and herded him up the drive.

“Peter, Miranda. I’d like you to meet Josh Lyman. He’s my campaign manager and friend.” The kids were quiet.

“Come here Josh.” Helen said pulling the nervous man into a hug. He relaxed  a bit in her embrace. As she drew back she grabbed his hand. “Let’s all head inside. Dinner’s pretty much ready.” With a grace that impressed both Matt and Josh Helen took charge. She pulled Josh into the house. She got him to sit down in the lounge while Matt got their bags out of the car and she got the kids to start laying the table. By the time Matt had put the bags upstairs Helen was serving up and Peter was politely showing Josh to the table. Miranda looked shy but not too worried.

“Hey, Peter, how’s little league going? Josh here is a big baseball fan.” Peter brightened. He liked baseball and started to regale them with tales of all his recent games. Josh started to pile in on discussion of how to organise a team. Peter and Josh were starting to discuss some game for last week that Matt was sure Josh couldn’t have found time to watch as Helen brought over the plates.

Dinner went fairly smoothly after that. They talked about plans for Miranda’s birthday, Peter’s school and the gardening. It was an odd look at a different life for Josh. He’d grown up with a tutor and a nanny. He’d never played little league. He wanted to be more involved in the discussion but it was all family stuff. Instead he just let it wash over him and enjoyed the food.

“Your a submissive arn’t you Mister Lyman?” Peter asked suddenly. Helen and Matt looked just as caught out as Josh in that moment.

“Ah… yeah. Yeah I am.” He said after a long pause and a lot of looks over passed over the children's heads.

“Why arn’t you at home looking after your family?” He asked completely innocently.

“Peter!” Helen admonished.

“Misses Martin said he should be looking after his family. Are they sick?” He asked Josh. Josh actually started to chuckle.

“No, Peter. I don’t have much family actually and my Mother moved to Florida so I would leave her alone. Mrs Matin probably thinks I shouldn’t be working for your dad instead of in a kitchen somewhere but then Mrs Martin is probably a republican.” Peter took years to realise that Josh had just handed Mrs Martin the deepest insult he knew.

“Why should you be in a kitchen? Are you good at cooking?”

“Nah kid. I could burn water but some people think submissives should all work in the home or in nice innocuous little jobs. They don’t like the idea of us in government.” He left it at that and had another fork full of the pasta.

“Dad, why don’t you have a submissive?” Peter said turning on Matt. Clearly Peter had been talking to kids at school and most of them would have a top and a submissive parent.

“Well, Peter. I love your Mum and she’s a top. That doesn’t stop me from having a sub.” He looked at Josh. “We wanted to get married. We didn’t want to wait to find a sub or anything else to get married and have you guys. I take it you talked about preferences at school?”

“Yeah, we were talking about family and the teacher was asking about sub parents and I said you were both tops and she asked about your subs and I said you didn’t have subs and she asked why.”

“Well, if she asked again you can say because we haven’t found anyone we love yet.” She told Peter firmly trying to end the conversation. She hoped Josh wouldn’t take it the wrong way.

“Do you have a problem with not having a sub parent?” Matt asked concerned by this line of questioning. Peter shrugged.

“Not really, I just wonder what subs are like.” He said noncommittally.

“You know plenty of subs Peter. What about your Aunt Nicky or Uncle David? Or your grandma? You know them and they’re subs.”

“Yeah, but I don’t see them like my friends see their parents.” He admitted to his dad.

“Like what honey?” Helen asked.

“Well, Danny’s mom kneels when they have dinner.” Peter said quietly. Helen could see that this topic isn’t going away and they probably needed to talk about it. It had never worried them before that their kids weren’t getting to see a healthy top/sub relationship up close.

“Matt, Helen. Do you mind if I chip in?” Josh asked carefully before charging in with a response. Matt nodded straight away and Helen did as well after a moment's thought. Matt knew Josh could be brash but over the last few weeks he’d fielded a lot of questions about this stuff and he’d come across pretty understanding.

“Peter your right. Some subs do like to do that sort of thing at home with their tops. Some of us like to sit on the floor or be tidied up. We do all of that with a top though. Someone we trust a lot. Like your friends sub parents trust their tops. Your right that its not something we tend to do in public so much. The important thing for you to understand is that it’s actually the sub in control.”

“I thought the top was in charge. Isn’t that the point?” Peter asked.

“It is, but the really important thing is trust. The sub gets to say no to anything they want. The top has to trust the sub to say no when he needs to. The sub trusts the top to stop when he says it. Does that make sense, Peter?” Josh looked at the boy seriously.

“So they both have to trust each other?”

“Ya huh, it means they can do a lot of fun stuff that would be dangerous without that trust.” He finished up and looked to check with Matt and Helen. Matt looked pleased and Helen looked a little surprised but not angry. The conversation moved on from there. Josh let out a relieved breath. After dinner Helen let Matt put the kids to bed while she cleared up the food. They were already up past their bedtime to see their dad. Josh just waited with a glass of water. He’d been hoping for a beer but Helen had just handed him water after the wine with dinner.

Matt emerged at the bottom of the stair and saw Josh sat there.

“Josh, quick word in my study?” He asked nodding towards the correct door. Matt didn’t want to have this talk but he knew he had to.  He closed the door and paced for a moment before leaning against the desk. “Josh, this is really personal but I think we need to have that talk before the talk.” He looked at Josh. The sub looked nervous and jittery.

“Ah--kay. I’m listening.” He wasn’t sure where this was going.

“We don’t talk about it. No one but me and Helen know this. It’s not bad just really not something we want out their in the universe. Peter was an accident.” He said it and let it just hang there. “It wasn’t that we didn’t want kids, just that we weren’t planning on it then. Helen was still on the pill, we used a condom but she was ill and the condom broke. No regrets but it means I don’t trust birth control all that much.” Matt paused again and Josh was still processing it all. “So, I already talk to Helen about this but I’m asking that if you two do this, no vaginal sex.” He said trying to stick with clinical terms to make this easier. Josh thought for a minutes.

“That’s it?” Josh asked carefully.

“Yeah. I can live with this whole thing but I don’t think any of us could deal with an accidental pregnancy that turned out to not even be mine right now.” Josh chuffed.

“Hmm, yeah that would be a tricky one.” Josh stood for a moment clearly Matt expected more of a response. “I get it Matt. Seriously, it’s fine. I’m still not sure why your letting us try this.” Josh rubbed the back of his head avoiding eye contact.

“Because, I think this could work. Josh, I don’t want to get to serious and put too much pressure on this but I think this could be a more than just the campaign thing and if it’s going that way it has to work with my family. I have an unusual family so I need to stop thinking like I don’t. You and Helen need to work out what you are to each other, I think I need to know too. Right now I realised the other day, I don’t know how I’m supposed to be with you when it’s just us and Helen. She knows we’re together, but I don’t want to wave it in her face. Currently this is becoming a mess and if we’re going to keep it up we need to sort it and unfortunately I could only find us 24 hours to do that in. So tonight we’re going to sit around and maybe watch a movie. No news.” He halted Josh before he could go there. “Then in case the kids come in later me and Helen are going to bed and you’re going to the guest bedroom. Tomorrow we’ll have breakfast and I’ll take the kids to the park for a few hours before lunch. You and Helen will have the place to yourselves. Then after lunch we get to say goodbye and hit the road again.” Josh took all that in and nodded.

“Alright. What’s next?”

 --*--

Helen had finished in the kitchen and left them a dvd out while she made popcorn. Matt put the disk in and sat down on the couch with the remote. Josh was still standing not sure where to sit. Matt got tired after a while and grabbed his t-shirt pulling him over to sit next to him. “Relax.” He ordered and Josh took him at his word shifting off the couch to the floor. He sat and leant against Matt's legs, back to the sofa. Matt reached down with his free hand and ran his fingers through his curly hair. Josh just leaned into it watching the menu for the movie load.

Helen came over with a big bowl of popcorn and paused for a second before deciding to just sit next to Matt and let the whole thing sort itself out. Josh tensed initially and went to move out of their way but Matt gripped his hair and he stayed still against his leg. Helen folded her legs up under her and leaned in against Matt who started the movie. After a few minutes Josh started to relax. Matt took his hand out of Josh’s hair and put his arm around Helen instead. He reached across himself to continue petting Josh.

At some point in the movie Josh had got jumpy, it was a fairly typical monster movie but Josh let the tension get to him. Josh wasn’t sure when Helen had started petting him as well to try and sooth him after a shock but it was nice just curling up like this in his jeans. Helen talked all the way through the movie and sometimes  Matt shhhed her. Josh decided this was good. He’d watched movies at home in the past, sometimes with Donna while he was recovering and that had been a bit like this. Just easy. Helen occasionally just held the bowl of popcorn down for him. It was great and at some point all the hours on the road, the sneaking between hotel rooms, speeches and hair loss inducing stress caught up with Josh and he nodded off.

As the credits rolled Matt looked down at the gently snoring Josh leaning on his knee. Helen was still lightly stroking his head and he followed her arm up to look at her. She smiled at him. He carefully leaned over and they shared a slow soft kiss.

“Love you.” He said as they pulled apart.

“Love you too.” She said quietly. “Let’s get to bed though.” She said nodding at Josh. Matt wasn’t sure how to wake the man without risking him hitting the floor. Helen solved it leaning forward in a way Matt couldn’t without dislodging the man.

“Josh...Josh.” She gently shook his shoulder.

“Huh! I’m up, I’m up. When’s our first event?!” He said sitting up and faining consciousness. Helen giggled and Matt flat out laughed.

“It’s our night off Josh. No events. Just bedtime.” Josh rubbed his face and looked around slowly working out where he was.

“Right, sorry. Must of dozed off. Need more coffee.” He said pulling himself to his feet and looking like he might actually go for the coffee machine. Matt got to him first and steered him towards the stairs.

“No coffee Josh, just sleep. Let’s get you to a bed and I’m sure you’ll remember what its for.” The three of them tromped up the stairs making sure to be quiet around the kids propped open doors.

“Your just in here Josh.” Matt said opening the guest bedroom for him and pointing out the bathroom across the hall. “Sleep well. We’ll see you tomorrow.” He told the tired sub. Josh just nodded and mumbled a “‘night”  in return.

 --*--

Josh hadn’t brought proper pjs so after he brushed his teeth he’d just stripped to boxers and t-shirt and fallen into bed. Only to then find he couldn’t sleep. He’d been so relaxed downstairs but here in the guestroom the bed was cold and odd and the house full of unfamiliar noises particularly those of other people sleeping nearby. It must have been an hour of so later, fill with staring at the walls and ceiling and mentally recounting all the reasons this relationship was a bad idea, that his bladder demanded attention. As he left the bathroom he almost walked in to Peter who was in the corridor.

“Hey, sorry.” Josh said first. The kid wasn’t headed to the toilet. He mostly seemed to be standing around looking worried. “You okay?” he decided to ask.

“You work with Dad right?” Josh nodded.

“Yeah, I work for your dad.”

“Are they getting a divorce?” The small boy asked Josh. Shocked by the question Josh looked around. That kind of question didn’t have a quick answer. His public image brain immediately eliminated both his and the kids bedroom as inappropriate venus for the talk but still he wanted to sit down. He latched on to the stairs.

“Come here a second.” He moved them to sit on the top step.

“Why would you worry about that? Your parents love each other.” Josh couldn’t even let himself think of the idea of the Santos’ breaking up.

“Dad’s been away for weeks and Jamie’s Dad moved out before her parents got a divorce.”

“Yeah but your Dad hasn’t moved out. He’s just been away for work more than usual. Trust me on this. Their fine.”

“Are you my Dad’s sub?” Peters perceptive question completely through Josh. He had no idea how they had got there. “I saw you sitting on the floor earlier.” JOsh had no idea how to respond to that other than he really didn’t want to outright lie to the kid. Not after what Matt had been saying earlier about this having to work with his family.

“Me and your dad like each other and we’re seeing how it goes. Kind of like dating. But Peter, “ He said making very firm eye contact with the boy. “You can’t tell anyone about that. Not your family, not at school or anywhere else.” He held eye contact.

“But why?” He asked.

“You know when you get a really amazing new game and just at first you don’t want to share it?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, me and your Dad only just started dating and its a lot like that. We don’t want to share this yet. A lot of people are going to want to talk about this when they find out and right now, we don’t want that. We want to keep a secret between me, your mom and your dad and now you. Can you do that for us?”

“So mom knows?”

“Yeah, your mom knows. She was sitting with us earlier wasn’t she?” The child nodded and looked happier knowing both his parents were okay. “I think we should both go back to bed now.” Josh finished and stood before offering the kid a hand. He took it and Josh walked him back to his room. “Night Peter.”

“Night Josh.” He said before disappearing back into his room.

 --*--

The next morning Josh hadn’t set an alarm so used to having a wake up call from an assistant or a hotel desk. He woke to the smell of coffee and a kiss on his forehead. He blinked awake to see Matt sat on the side of his bed. He could hear Helen and the kids downstairs.

“Hey sleepyhead.” Josh grunted and sat up groping for coffee and rubbing his face.

“What time is it?” He mumbled.

“About nine.” Matt said with a small smile.

“Shit, you should have knocked on the door or something. I’d have got up earlier.”

“Eh, the kids woke us up at around seven. I thought you could use the extra sleep, not like we get many chances for it.” Josh was inhaling his coffee. “You didn’t finish undressing last night I see.” He nodded at the t-shirt that was the same one he’d been wearing the previous day.

“Nah, this is just the only t-shirt I have packed.” He waved vaguely at the suitcase. “It’s not that big you know.” Matt shook his head.

“Sorry, I forgot. We other people chasing be around with suits and shirts and ties all the time I guess I have more room for my own stuff. You can borrow one of mine for today.”

“Sure, just make sure it doesn’t have anything to do with the astro’s or rockets.” There were somethings that were sacred to Josh, sports teams were one of them.

“Can you live with the marines?” Matt asked raising his eyebrows.

“Basically did at the white house.” Was all Josh replied. Matt got up and walked out. Josh went and jumped in the shower he could hear Matt sorting through draws in his room. When Josh got back he found a marine reserve t-shirt waiting on the bed. He sorted himself and then pulled on the shirt. He felt ridiculous, the thing was very obviously too big for him. He didn’t have many options though and it was soft. Bigger bonus it smelled faintly like Matt which was wonderful.

When Josh emerged into the kitchen in the oversized top everyone turned to look at him. Matt grinned but managed to smother a laugh. Peter looked surprised to see him in one of his dads shirts but it was Miranda who was first to raise the issue.

“That’s dad’s shirt!” She called across the room. Helen mostly seemed to be enjoying her own personal joke.

“And your wonderful dad said I could borrow it since I don’t have anything else.” Josh told the little girl. He sat down and Peter with his mother help started to serve him out some pancakes and Miranda passed him a plate of fruit. He thanked them all and saw that they had all finished. “I hope I’m not holding you all up. I’m sorry for oversleeping.” Helen just shook her head at him.

“It’s fine it’s been good family time. The kids wanted to see you before they went out.” Helen said and Matt took the hint getting up and starting to herd the kids to get ready to go out. This left Josh eating while Helen sipped some tea at the table.

“Really, I’m sorry. I forgot to set an alarm.”

“It really is okay Josh. It’s been a long time since we’ve been able to just sit and have breakfast without being in a rush.” Helen thought for a second. “Seems like a long time any way.” She started to clear the breakfast things away while Josh finished eating. The kids re-emerged with dad all wrapped up in coats and boot to say bye. Josh said goodbye to each of them and was surprised by a hug from Peter. He suspected Peter knew he wasn’t supposed to do that but was playing off his age to get away with it. Josh wasn’t complaining, it was a nice hug. Miranda waved as they went out the door. Matt just smiled at both of them and said he’d see them later. Just as they left Josh and Helen heard Peter ask:

“What are Josh and Mom going to do while we’re out?” Both of them couldn’t help laughing at that one.

“Best of luck to him on that one.” Helen said once they had both regained their composure.  “So Josh, we basically already had the talk. Anything to add?” She asked leaning on the kitchen counter. Josh put down his coffee and looked at her.

“Not from me just Matt’s request.” He said to make sure they were both on the same page.

“Yeah, I understand his anxiety on that one and he’s right so we’ll be sticking to no vaginal. Lots of other fun to be had though.” She said with a lear. “I have to say you look pretty cute in Matt’s shirt.”

“I look like I’m wearing hand me downs.” Josh huffed.

“Okay, first things first. How do you like to go down? Do you like to have a particular order or should I just leap in?” She was still just standing there as though they were discussing poll numbers.

“I don’t really mind. Matt normally tells me to go down when he want me to. I can just guess when you want me to though.”

“You can’t tell.?”

“According to my ex I’m not particularly good at that. I can try and learn though.”

“No Josh. You should be sure what’s happening. Well come up with a cue. Something different to Matt’s. I want this to be more than just an adjunct so we’re going to do our own thing.” She put down her team and walked over to him and gently took his coffee away and put it out of the way on the table. “If I remember something I read correctly they called you Bartlett's Pitbull back when you were deputy chief of staff.” Josh nodded not sure where she was going with this. “Well then how about when I want you down for me I just tell you to heel.” She said leaning into him. Josh realised he was nodding emphatically ridiculously turned on by the idea alone. He smiled and stood up and started walking to the bedroom. He didn’t move frozen in his seat.

“I said _heel_ Josh.” She threw back over her shoulder as she started on the stairs. Josh shot out of his seat to join her. They headed into Helen and Matt’s room and Helen closed the door behind them. “Loose the jeans.” she ordered. He did it and removed his boxers at the same time mostly by accident. He realised what he had done and paused with them both around his ankles leaning over. “I have to say the view is great but you might want to finish, leave the t-shirt on.” Josh straightened and stepped out of things.

“Remind us both of your safe words.” She said as she checked something by the bed.

“Congress and veto.” Josh said trying to just stand still. This wasn’t as easy as it was with Matt. That had been spontaneous and easy, this was just so planned and stilted. He couldn’t relax so much.

“I want an extra for when everything is okay.” Helen asked. Josh’s mind churned trying to think of a word that worked for him. Then it was obvious.

“Nashua.” He said firmly.

“Good choice. Now on the bed. I want you to kneel facing the foot board and hold out your hands.” She showed him the cuffs that lived in Matt’s bag. His cuffs really. He had got used to the fabric on his wrists. They were soft but as he’d proved to Matt once he could force the velcro undone if he tried. It had been a condition of Matt’s before he’d leave them on Josh while he showered. Helen put them on him pulling them as tight as possible before checking his circulation by squeezing his hands. She loosened one of them a little but the pressure was still pretty good for Josh. She clipped them together and then moved back from Josh.

“Too tight?”

“Nashua.” He said remembering the new word. She pulled off her vest top leaving herself bare to Josh. He looked at her pale breasts and salivated into his mouth. Helen pulled his head forward encouraging him to taste. His had to lift off his heels a little to balance that far forward  without his hands. Helen reached back and gripped his but helping to steady him but also running a finger down his crack to stroke and circle his hole. Josh hummed as he bit Helen’s nipple lightly. This was one thing Josh had missed. He had more than a bit of an oral fixation and while he loved going down on Matt, he’d missed getting to play with a woman like this. He lost himself to the flesh in his mouth closing his eyes and nuzzling with his head. Letting Helen lead him back and forth between the two mounds.

Helen began to push him back bending him back over his feet. His muscles strained and his knees moved apart as he lay back on the bed his legs still bent under him but his mouth still closed around the warm trembling flesh of Helen’s hanging breast. She moved up and reached between them she gripped his wrists and pulled them up over his head attaching them to something at the head of the bed. His muscles strained against the stretch of the positions but he just enjoyed the burn, enjoyed how hard it would be for him to move from here. Helen seemed to pause and give him a look. She gripped his cheeks and forced his eyes to hers, her question clear. Josh’s teeth were gritted against the discomfort but he managed to pant out.

“Nashua.” She smiled and ran he hands over the shaking muscles of his arms and chest. She continued down to where he was hard as a rock and squeezed. Josh let out a yelp at the combination of pleasure and pain as the squeeze felt so good it sent a shiver through his taunt body. Helen’s smile was wicked now.

“I know Matt said I couldn’t have this in my pussy but he did help me with another idea last night.” She quickly slid out of her sleep pants and moved over Josh on all fours. He saw her flip the lid on some lube that had been stashed under a pillow and apply it to her fingers. He expected it to be for him before she reached back and slid a finger into herself. She started to play with her arse stretching and putting a second finger in quickly. “Hmm….” she moaned into his face. “Still so stretched from Matt. You’re no not on the small side either but I had a feeling he’d leave me stretched enough to do this. “ She moved suddenly gripping Josh and sliding him into her. It felt amazing so tight and hot and Josh could barely move. When he tried once to trust he hips he found it sent agony racing through his hip and shoulders. He just gave up and let her use him.

Before he could close his eyes and completely lose himself to the sensation though Helen stopped and leaned back forward over him.

“One more rule Josh. No cumming till I say so. Can you do that?” She asked in a voice husky and breathless with sex.

“Congress” he said with a whimper. “I don’t know Helen. I don’t know if I can.” He admitted gasping for breath. Helen stayed still on top of him and stroked his face waiting for his breathing to slow again.

“That’s all right Josh. We can work on that but today I want you to try. Can you do that honey? Try, and warn me if you think your going to lose it.” Josh nodded he loved how suddenly she had become comforting. He knew what she wanted but he also knew she would understand if he failed. That felt wonderful. There had never been space for weakness or failure in his life before. They had always been bottomless abysses for him to fall into. Helen started moving and again and Josh lost his train of thought. Dear god it was wonderful. The friction as Helen slid herself up and down his dick was sending shooting stars through his whole body clashing with the ache and sharp muscle pain her movements were causing in his stretched limbs and back.

It could have been forever but felt like no time at all that he was forcing out.

“Congress” As a warning before he exploded. She didn’t slow for a second milking him with her body shaking above him as the feel of him sent her over the edge as well. Suddenly after his limbs seemed to go from tense to limp and relaxed all at once as though everything was wrung out of him by the force of his climax. Helen was feeling pretty good too energised though and still aching for more, for different.

She lifted off him and moved up the bed on her knees placing them either side of his shoulders spreading her apart and open to him. “Good boy” She said rapping her hand round the back of his head and bringing his mouth to her cunt. He reacted instantly all ways happy to let his mouth work. He lapped at her lazily until she pressed him more firmly against her and shoved his tongue into her wet dripping folds they tasted rich and a little salty. He drank her down and ate her trying to trust his tongue deeper and deeper. She rode his mouth loving his work until he sealed his lips around her clit and sucked deep and hard flicking it with his tongue. She came screaming and fell back onto him when she was done in a heap.

“Congress” he shouted her weight across his chest too much for his knees, wrists and shoulders.

“Sorry.” She said rolling off him. “What do you need?” She asked as she reached to undo the cuffs.

“No, just straighten out my legs please.” He told her not wanting to lose the afterglow. Not wanting to have to get up yet. She gently straightened his legs and gave them a rub to help get the blood flowing again. He winced as the pain of pins and needles shot through him. He relaxed again eyes closed as he drifted in a cloud of well earned aches and bliss. Helen Lay next to him with her head on his chest for a while before she said something about cleaning up and he heard the shower running. He just lay there lost in his own little world.

“Time to get up and shower Josh. Matt and the kids will be back in a while.” Helen said stroking his hair and waiting for him to come back up and open his eyes before she reached up to undo the cuffs and rub his wrists. “You okay, Josh?” She asked sat naked on the edge of the bed looking down at him still in Matt's shirt.

“Yeah, thanks. That was amazing.” Helen laughed a little at that.

“No worries Josh. It was fun all round. Now scoot. I need to dry my hair.” He did as told sliding out the other side of the bed and heading for the on suit. He kept the shirt on till he was inside though. He was pretty thankful for it. He was glad to not have to show her his scars. Matt was ex military, he’d seen worse. He didn’t want to see the look on Helen’s face when she saw his ruined chest.

\--*--

He didn’t think he took all that long in the shower but he was pretty sure that his perception of time was a little out after all that. When he got out Helen was dressed and had dried her hair, she was just finishing tidying up the end as he walked back into the room a towel around his waist. He looked at the jeans, boxers and t-shirt draped over a chair and scowled a little.

“You think it would be okay with Matt if I just put a suit back on?” He asked Helen with a small grin holding up the marines t-shirt. He really didn’t want to put the jeans back on. It had been a great day but he needed to get himself and the congressman back on track for an event tonight. He needed to start climbing back into campaign manager Josh. Helen starred at him for a moment standing there in nothing but a towel and then gave in.

“Put it on. I’ll handle Matt if he gets annoyed.” She said taking the t-shirt from him and throwing it in the hamper. Before Josh could walk away she  grabbed his head and they kissed for the first time. She leaned into him and Josh’s hands came up to her waist to help steady her. The kiss was slow and languorous as Josh let her explore his mouth and responded at her erging. When it finally broke Josh couldn’t help but grin so broadly he laughed a little.

“So that was good.” Helen said as they looked at each other

“Yeah.” Josh said back.

“Based on today I think we should definitely keep going with this. You?” Helen said tentatively.

“Hell, yeah.” He replied with a smirk. He realised he didn’t sound particularly serious. “Helen that was fantastic. I was struggling at the start there to get out of my own head but…” He trailed off leaning his head against hers where he was still holding her against him.  “Helen, that was perfect, it was intense but I felt so safe.” He said quietly.

“Thank you Josh. I don’t think I could have gone there if you hadn’t…” She breathed deeply and then continued. “It’s really hard to be sure some subs will actually safeword. It made me really comfortable. But now you should get dressed cause Matt and the kids will be back any minute.”

“Yes, sir.” He said sarcastically as he grabbed the jeans and his boxer to head for the guest bedroom.

“Josh?”

“Yeah.”

“Let’s stick with Helen in the bedroom. If you will insist on mam on the campaign.”

“Sure Helen.” He called from the corridor just before she heard the door close.

\--*--

When Matt got home it was to Helen sorting lunch in the kitchen and Josh sat on the couch in his suit looking over some files he’d snuck into his ever present backpack. He sent the kids to wash up for lunch and turned to Josh to say something about his suit and work during their time off when Helen called him through to the kitchen.

“Don’t start on Josh. He wanted to change back into his suit and I said he could and I also said he could look at those files while he was waiting. No need for him to sit there bored while I sort lunch.” She told him seeing the look on his face. It turned from perturbed to nervous.

“So how did things go?” he asked glancing around to check the kids were still out of ear shot. Helen smiled.

“Really, really well. You Matt Santos managed to find one hell of a sub.” She complimented.

“Technically, he found me. I just can’t believe how amazing he is.”

“No kidding.” Helen smiled.

“So you two are happy to keep seeing where this is all going?” Matt asked cautiously.

“Yeah. ‘hell yeah’, I think was Josh’s line. I’m just sorry you two need to head off again so soon. This has to be the most rushed thing I’ve ever had.” Helen said starting to serve salad onto plates.

“I know. I hate it sometimes. I just wish I could lock the hotel room door and stay in the the day or even stay up all night but there’s always and early start and work in the morning and we’re so sleep deprived on the road as it is there’s no time to take your time.” Matt shrugged, there really wasn’t much he could do about it.

“We seemed to have plenty of time the other weekend.”

“Yeah, because we’re married and you were around for the weekend so I could demand and earlier night and a late wake up call. How do I explain why both me and my campaign manager need a late wake up call, oh and by the way why he’d then leaving my room.”

“I wish we could be more open about this.”

“Yeah, I hate that I’ve basically dragged Josh  into another big secret.” Before Helen could respond Peter and Miranda were back and Josh had emerged from the lounge. Behind him Helen could see he’d tidied the papers back into a stack of folders in his backpack.

\--*--

Lunch was good and then Matt and Josh had to rush off. There wasn’t much time for more talk until they were in the car later driving to refind the campaign.

“So how was earlier?” Matt finally asked after Josh had finished going over stuff for that evening’s event.

“It was good. Really good.” Josh replied trying to play it cool. He didn’t think it was polite to gush over how good sex with someone’s wife had been.

“So you and Helen…?” He asked trying to draw Josh out.

“Yeah, I think there’s something there worth looking into.” Josh parried back.

“Josh.” Santos said firmly in a voice Josh rarely argued anything less than strategy with. “I talked to Helen, she was a little more enthusiastic, so are you just being polite to me or to her? Did it actually work for you?” Josh hesitated for a moment and had to start thinking about baseball. Then he realised he knew what to say.

“Matt, I’m having to work not to pop a boner just thinking about it. Yah, it worked for me. If it doesn’t work for you though we can rethink.” I think. Josh’s mind added. It might be too late to really be able to turn back now on this one even if Matt told him to.

“Josh, that wasn’t what I was getting at at all. I’m glad, you both seem really happy with how it went and last night was great, just sitting around the three of us. Not to mention I think you’re Peter’s new favourite subject.” Josh winced a little at that really hoping he had done the right thing risking telling the kid and it wasn’t going to backfire on him. “He’s going through a thing since he started school. He’s just realising that me and Helen are different from most kids parents and he’s trying to work out how it all works. I think it helped him getting to meet a bottom who wasn’t some relative.”

“He seems like a great kid Matt. I didn’t mind the questions. I wish I had been able to ask my parents things like that. But you remember what it was like back then, you didn’t ask about that kind of thing.” the car fell into silence as Matt thought back over his catholic upbringing and how his family had reacted when he first said he and Helen were engaged. Josh remembered growing up in connecticut and his dad the big new york Lawyer who never gave a clear answer it seemed to Josh until after he’d graduated Law School. The car was quiet for a while as they drove back into the chaos of a candidate and his campaign manager.


	12. I'm down here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which both the boys are tired, Josh gets to relax and nap and Matt admits his feelings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Sex, anal, don't like don't read. Rough sex, consensual though. 
> 
> I basically wrote this based on the moment where they're all sat around waiting for the New Jersey primary results. The tension in those looks was amazing. Enjoy!

Matt and Josh were both very on edge waiting for the New Jersey results. They’d been hard at it for week and barely had time to sleep let alone anything else. Both were fidgeting and glancing at each other as they waited for the close race to resolve. They spent all night pacing the room hotel room full of interns. Josh looked like he might explode the next morning. Matt had got some sleep in the night but he could be sure that Josh hadn’t he never did well with votes.

There were yells of victory and Josh looked like he could breathe again at last. As the celebrations died back Matt looked around the room and spotted Josh still there already discussing some file. He reached a decision.

“Okay. Thanks everyone. Time to look at the convention. First though I’m going to go talk to my wife and catch up with my family who I haven’t talked to in a week AND” he said before anyone could interrupt “Josh is going to sleep before he either collapses or explodes.” The room laughed at that and Josh gave him an annoyed look. “Come on Josh. I’m escorting to you room and no one better see you out of it for the next five hours.” Suddenly Josh got it and tried to look reluctant as he passed off his files and yelled a few instructions before letting Santos drag him out of the room. Josh was just thinking this was soo dangerous. Soo risky at this point in things. They’d be dead on the convention floor if this leaked now. 

Josh suddenly realised they were at Matt’s room. He looked up and down the corridor to check first.

“Matt, we can’t do this now. It’s the middle of the day. What if someone comes looking for you? What if someone comes looking for me?” Matt opened the door and shoved Josh inside before closing the door behind him and turning the deadbolt. 

“Right now Josh I don’t give a crap. We just won New Jersey and I know exactly how I want to celebrate so down boy.” Josh swallowed at the larger man growling in front of him and his knees started to buckle. “Not like that.” Matt  said grabbing him and dragging him to the chest of draws. He turned the sub round and gridded his half hard erection against his arse. “Thank god no one noticed earlier. You know what I want to celebrate Josh. I want this arse.” Josh groaned pinned between the hardening congressman and the solid draws he was getting pretty hard himself. Matt’s hand came down on the back of his neck holding him facedown on the wood while his other reached round to undo Josh’s suit trousers and belt. Josh didn’t even think his zip was properly down before Matt was shoving them and his boxers down. 

A tube of lube hit the draws next to Josh’s head. “Picked it up this morning. I was already thinking I needed to find a moment to do this.” Josh could hear as he undid his own belt, felt it slap his arse as Matt practically ripped it off and pulled himself out. He briefly let go of Josh’s neck to apply so lube to his fingers before the hand was back and a finger was working its way into him. Josh whined wanting more and knowing he was finally going to get it. It seemed to take forever and no time at all and Matt roughly stretched him to take three fingers with room to spare. Then Josh felt him pull his hand back the hand on his neck disappeared again and the lube clicked open . The anticipation was about to kill him when the lube clattered back to the draws.

He felt Matt line up the pressure on his hole welcome after the uncomfortable cold of being so exposed. Josh tried to move back tried to do anything but Matt had him pinned. He didn’t use his hands which were bracing him on the draws. His brain was too wired to even consider it. Matt started to slowly push forward finally penetrating the desperate sub. God he’d want to do this for so long. Josh looked amazing under him. So wanton and disheveled in his day old suit. He was going to try and draw this out for as long as possible. 

He push in at glacial speed. Josh keened out desperate for him to move faster for more friction. It was driving Matt crazy too. More than anything he wanted to just slam into the sub but he knew it had been over a week and there was no way Josh was ready for that. They both held on long enough for him to be all the way in and Josh to fill like he was about to explode. 

“Please, please, please.” Was all he could gaspingly articulate. He couldn’t do this, he needed Matt to move. Matt couldn’t hold back any longer at first Josh was so tight he couldn’t do anymore than slow thrusting but as he did Josh loosened and he sped up slamming into him so the draws were rocking beneath them. Josh hand moved one arm so he could bit down and muffle his screams in to his jacket sleeve. 

“You okay?” Matt huffed as he saw that.

“Nashua” Josh spit around the fabric in his mouth in between screams 

“Shit your tight Josh. So perfect bent over for me like this. We win this thing, how about I fuck you over the resolute desk. You like that?” He asked with a chuckle. Josh lost it at that coming all over the side of the furniture. He spasmed gripping Matt so tight it felt like he could barely move as Josh came beneath him. It was amazing and push him over as well filling Josh. He collapsed over him just catching himself on his elbows so he didn’t crush the sub. 

“Crap Josh. That was… that was… what I needed. You okay?” He asked feeling a little guilty.

“Nashua.” Josh muttered only held up by Matt and his softening cock. He was feeling great like all the tension had been fucked straight out of him. 

“Okay, Let’s move this to the bed.” He said reckoning he might be up for moving. Matt wrapped an arm around Josh’s waist and carefully pulled them both upright slipping out of him at the same time. Josh was with it enough to try and keep his feet and move towards the bed with Matt. He dropped Josh to the mattress. “You finish undressing.” Matt said sitting next to him and starting on his own clothes. Josh dragged himself upright and started on his shirt stopping half way to try and take off his shoes. He wasn’t sure how he even made it to the bed without tripping over his trousers that were still around his ankles. 

Matt was fairing better sorting everything in order. When he was done he helped the fumbling Josh finish pulling second shoe off for him and removing his socks and the tangled clothes around his ankles. Then he finished the buttons on his shirt and pulled the layers off him. 

“I was serious about that sleep thing.” He told Josh and pulled them both under the covers. He grabbed his cell phone and set an alarm. “I’ll get up in a bit you just sleep. I’m here.” He told Josh who basically slept on command he was so tired. Matt held him close, nuzzled his tousled curly hair and with his mouth next to Josh’s ear.

“Love you Josh. Wish this was easier but I love you.” Josh didn’t stir. That was probably for the best Matt thought. He was torn over this. He loved his wife so much. He loved Josh too. Josh was amazing to him and he needed him. He couldn’t see his life without Josh in it anymore. He thought about the future and couldn’t stand the idea of giving this up. He just didn’t know how to move forward with it anymore. Not without Helen, not without making things public. This was the last thing they had left before something more would have to give.


	13. 'Help'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Will wants to talk, Josh interrupts and no one else is any the wiser

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Sex, bondage, strap on, gag, spanking, anal

Josh was sat in the bar drinking. The convention was turning into a mess as expected and Josh guessed he wasn’t helping much with that. Hard to care really. Right now he just wanted to stop waiting. He wanted the second vote, he wanted the nomination or bust. He wanted just one night where the Santos sut wasn’t full if people permanently camped out between him and the bedroom. He wanted to sleep. Since he couldn’t have any of those things he was sat sipping a whiskey when Will approached him. God, he hated that guy. The smug little top had been nothing but patronising to Josh for months. No way was that just because he thought Josh’s candidate didn’t have a chance.

“Can we talk?” 

\--*--

Josh’s head was spinning as he left the bar. It was late but the campaign never slept so he just headed straight for their glorious leader. No one has time to say anything to him as he walked through the suit and wouldn’t any way this Josh with a purpose by now they all know better than to get in the way. Josh heads straight into Matt’s room.

“Wow” Come the call from the bed as Matt and Helen move apart. One would like to say surprised by the sudden invitation, but no one is surprised by the lack of privacy. In fact Santos preeminants Josh. “It’s okay.” He says just as Josh finishes processing that he’s just walked in on his candidate making out with his wife.

“Sorry.” He says coming to a halt. Santos realises its Josh and relaxes a little, of all the people to see them like that Josh was the first pick, he was also in work mode though.

“My time is your time.” Santos said with a tired affability.

“Yeah, evidently.” Helen clearly as frustrated with the lack of privacy as Josh was but without his current focus. Matt gives her an apologetic look where she’s standing and doing up her shirt and sits up in the bed. “I’ll just umm..” she says making to leave if they’re going to be working. She doesn’t want to have to just sit there and wait.

“You should probably hear this too.” Josh said looking deeply uncomfortable about his interruption.  Getting over it he spoke quickly. “The Russell campaign in turn for us releasing our convention delegates is prepared to name Matthew Santos as the democratic nominee for the vice president of the united states”

It hung in the air as all three of them stood their Josh desperate to get a read on wither top and both if them trying to take in this unexpected turn in events. Matt unsurprisingly reacted first.

“Vice president” He asked. 

“To Russell.” helen put in before Josh could say anything else. 

“They’ve given us till Thursday.” He address Matt.

“Don’t need it. We pass.” Helen said with certainty. Matt’s head snapped around to Helen.

“We do, do we?” He asked with incredulity he turned back to Josh clearly still on the fence himself. “What do you think?” Josh marshalled his thoughts, he couldn’t make this oice for Matt.

“He’s trying to act like the frontrunner.” He tried to address Matt directly but he was wound up tight with tension over the decision so his eyes flicked constantly between the husband and wife.

“He is the frontrunner.” matt came back the absoluteness of the fact clear in his voice.

“By the skin of his teeth.” Helen parried back insistent on being in the conversation. “You’ve got the momentum. If this race had gone one more week you’d be the one ahead.” Josh hated having to argue against Helen like this but it was his responsibility to make sure Matt got the full picture.

“Arguments in favour, it avoids a messy floor fight at the convention.” And Leo kicking Josh’s ass for causing it.

“Also known as exciting also known as great television” said the only person in the room who hadn’t had to build a political career through the democratic party. Matt got there first:

“Also known as there go the democrats again. They can never get their crap together.” Josh tried to head off this turning into a matriatal domestic

“The best argument is that it sets you up as the consensus front runner. In either four or eight years the nomination would be yours.” assuming nothing in between destroyed him Josh thought, like it getting out that he sleeps with his campaign manager.

“Or your so tainted by association that when Vinick cleans Russell’s clock you can’t run for dog catcher.” Helen chipped in.

“I don’t think anyone elects dog catchers anymore.” Josh said trying to diffuse the room a bit and failing, no one ever said he was good at handling angry women.

“My Dad ran for dog catcher.” Helen through back at his assertively.

“Really?” Josh asked shocked both at the idea of running for dog catcher and the idea it hadn’t turned up in vetting.

“No.” Matt clarified looking admonishingly at Helen. Josh slumped a little knowing he was in almost certainly in Helen’s dog house.

“This whole campaign has been predicated on, driven by, gotten all of the aforementioned momentum from the ironclad conviction that Russellll can’t win.” Helen clarified. Matt stood up on Josh’s side seeing he was going to have deal with this. He faced Helen.

“I am a three term congressman being offered a shot at the second most powerful job in the world.” He tried to explain to her.

“Oh, i thought we were talking about the vice presidency.” She responded not having any of it.

“How about we all sleep on it?” Josh said desperate not to be responsible for this night going from making out to an argument for the two of them at least. No reason for them all to be walking around constantly frustrated. There was a pause and Josh moved for the door.

“Hey,” Matt said having briefly forgotten Josh wa there. “ it’s uh, getting real isn’t it?” He let Josh see that he was as lost in all this as Josh was, probably more.

“Real as it gets.” Josh responded hoping it might be in some way reassuring while still the truth. Josh had his hand on the door handle his other hand shoved into his coat pocket to hide the tension in his fist.

“Hey, wait.” Helen said sounding apologetic. “Stay here Josh.” She said with a hint of desperation in her voice. “This is the first night we’ve had in a while. We asked everyone to give us the night to ourselves earlier.”

“Sorry, it won’t happen again.” Josh said hurriedly thinking he was being admonished for barging in on them.

“Josh, I think what Helen is saying is the three of us have a chance at a few hours, maybe even a night of privacy. We could sleep on this together.” Matt looked to Helen for confirmation and she nodded. Josh couldn’t help the surprised look that came over his face. He’d been so carefully distancing himself for the last week the idea that he could have both of them. Here, now, on their night to themselves was beyond him. As he just stared at them Matt realised Josh was about to blow it. He’d worked out a while ago that Josh wasn’t great at holding on to what he loved, or at least he wasn’t great at being honest with himself about that love AND letting himself enjoy it. He walked to the door where Josh was still stood holding the handle and gently pulled the subs away from it. “Down Josh” he said softly.

Helen was right behind Matt and Josh cast a look at her expecting a complaint about this being their time or about the discussion before. Instead Helen move over to stand next to Matt, the longing in her eyes matching his perfectly along with their matching lavender shirts. She reached out to stroke the subs cheek.

“Heel.” She said softly and something in Josh just let go and something else clicked into place as he sank slowly and a little difficulty to his knees still wearing his coat and shoes. By the time he was staring at the carpet it was like a dam had burst and he was gasping for breath, tears streaking down his cheeks. It was okay though because Josh knew what to do. He knew how he was supposed to be right now. He took deep breaths through his nose and tried to slow his breathing not caring about the tears on his cheeks, just trying to centre himself and quiet his body. He focused on his breathing but also the gentle hand in his hair and the soothing noises coming from his tops. 

“Shh, shh, shh, shh. I’m sorry Josh. I didn’t realise it was that bad. It’s okay, we’re here. Your safe, just let it go. That’s it.” was Matt’s deep rumble in time with the hand stroking the top of his head. In harmony though was Helen.

“Oh, honey. We need to look after you better. I promise we’ll work this out. Tonight though you just relax. We’ll give you what you need.” Her fingers lightly scratched at the base of his neck. He didn’t even know why he was crying. It was just everything. It was having them so close, spending so much time with them but never being able, even just now when they were alone, for what he needed. It was the frustration of his life that he was in the middle of the most important thing he would ever do in his career, get a good man elected president, and he was having to balance it with the biggest step he’d ever taken in a relationship.

Finally his breathing settled and the Santos’ kneeling next to him both gave him a brief hug. He really had it bad for these two. They just always seemed to do the right thing. They never left him or ignored his need or belittled him for showing weakness. They quietly looked after him. 

“So dear, what are you thinking?” Matt asked Helen over Josh’s head. He’d thought about it over the last few weeks and was very aware of how careful he was going to need to be to make sure he respected Helen as a fellow top in the bedroom. This was the first time they’d ever shared a sub, first time Matt had ever shared a sub with anyone. Helen stood up and pulled Matt to his feet. She glanced down at Josh’s kneeling form. She normally wasn’t so into the kneeling sub look, but the stillness and peace and containedness of Josh like this was soo hot.

“First, where were we earlier?” She asked her husband playfully. He smiled at her and grabbed her around the waist pulling her close he started to undo the top few buttons of her shirt.

“I think we were around here.” He said running his fingers over her bra at the same time she brought her leg up to press her thigh against the growing bulge in his trousers. He pulled her into a kiss. They seemed to be straight back to where they were as the shirts came undone and Matt backed her into the bed leaning over her. 

Finally they came up for air and Helen giggled. Matt glanced to where Josh was quietly waiting for them his eyes were closed and he looked so calm but also lonely over there on his own. Both their shirts were hanging undone off their shoulders now but Josh was still very dressed. Matt pulled away from Helen and went to one knee in front of Josh.

“You can take off as much as you want except your boxers then come back here.” He told the sub before turning around to see Helen watching her eyes full of lust. “What’s that look for?” He asked turning and strutting back to his wife. 

“I’m thinking of all the fun we can have tonight though I do have one thought.”

“And that is?” Matt asked kissing along her collar bone as he pushed her bra down to palm her breast. Whispering so only Matt could here Helen replied.

“The walls aren’t very thick and some of the stuff I want to do should leave Josh screaming. Did you pack his gag?” She asked some how innocently.

“It’s in my casual bag, stops people looking in there for shirts and wondering about all the toys.” He said knowing she knew he kept his casual clothes in a small black carry  which was tucked under the bed.

“Well, how about you go find it and the rest of the toys?” Helen asked seeing that Josh was back to kneeling behind Matt. The top gave her a quick peck of the lips and without turning his back on the two of them went to look.

Helen stood and shrugged off her shirt and bras leaving her standing bare from the waist up while she was still in her trousers and heels. She moved to Josh and tilted his head back using his curly hair for a hand hold. She kissed the sub hard, nipping his lips and forcing his head to what she knew was an uncomfortable angle just to receive a small moan from him.

She shifted bringing his mouth to her nipple as she leaned over him. She hear the shuffling from the other side of the bed stop. Josh’s hands hadn’t moved just his head as she had directed it. She looked over to Matt who had the case open and had clearly found somethings based on the straps and cuffs he’d placed on the bed but currently he was frozen watching his wifes breast be suckled by his submissive. He knew just how talented a tongue the man had. 

Helen smiled an evil smile at his distraction and with Josh still at her breast she reached down and undid her trousers sliding them and her panties over the firm swell of her bottom. She stepped out of both and her sensible block heels. Now she was completely bare she quickly slid her heels back on to give her the height and moved forward shifting Josh’s attention further down to her core. Matt was still not moving as Helen felt Josh’s tongue tease and stroke her every fold, flicking her clit before slowly easing his tongue back and forth into her. She loved this, she loved that she let him explore like this. It felt fantastic and put her right to the edge but stopped her from toppling over. She didn’t want to loose it too soon. After a few she’d be limp and sated for a while, and she had a boy and a man to play with today. 

“Shit, Helen” Matt muttered at last from the far side of the bed. She turned to check on him. Sweat was dripping down his brow and he had an extremely firm grip on a flogger in his hand. Helen knew he’d be rock hard. 

“Found it yet?” Helen asked “I thought we should enjoy first and then we can focus on other things?” Josh didn’t pay much notice. He just let their conversation wash over him and paid most of his attention to the very enjoyable task right in front of his nose. Matt remembered he was supposed to be finding Josh’s gag. He looked back in the case reluctantly and spotted it straight away. He grabbed it and held it up to his wife in victory.

“Got it.” He told her.

“Fantastic.” She said grinding herself down onto Josh’s face. He knew her signals well enough even though they’d not had many chances to spend time together on the trail that he started to use his tongue in ernest desperately trying to bring her off. He knew it was that or clicking if he wanted air again. He was good at this though. Matt moved back around the bed wrapping his arms around his wife and helping to drive her onto Josh’s mouth. The feel of both of them there was overwhelming and Helen came shaking and giving over all her weight to Matt.

Matt quickly moved her to the bed and took her place whipping out his raging cock and feeding it between Josh’s already swollen lips adoring the look of his sub with his wife’s juices all over his chin. He thrust almost straight away and Josh just leaned his head back, hands still on his thighs and took it. There was a light of pride and satisfaction in the smaller man’s eyes. As always Matt thought Josh was the only person he’d ever met who could smirk with a mouth full of cock and look so willing and passive at the same time. 

Matt didn’t last long with that visual. He groaned low but quiet as he emptied himself down Josh’s throat. He pulled gently out and held up the blue ball gag for Josh to see before he gently pushed it into his mouth and did up the velcro behind his head. Josh had chosen to strip right down to his boxers, Matt wasn’t surprised, he always liked being the least clothed in the room. He looked back to Helen on the bed who had at some point set up some straps on the bed. Now she was just lying watching them.

“I think it’s time we sort something though.” He cupped Josh’s face. “I told you to go down before and you hesitated. For that I think you need spanking.” He told Josh and checked in with Helen for approval again. She moved out the way and tossed him some of the cuffs. “Up.” He told Josh and knelt attaching the cuffs to his ankles, Helen did the same with his wrists. Matt finished by pulling down his boxers. Josh was already rock hard underneath. Helen drew him over to the bed and positioned him with his arms in front of him together and attached to a single dangling from the middle of the head board and the ankles she hooked to straps leading from each side of the bed. He was on his knees and elbows still with a good amount of slack. 

“Can you still click Josh?” Helen asked. Josh clicked to show he could and helen leaned down and kissed his temple.

“So Josh, I think we’ll go with ten to remind you to do as your told from me and another five from Helen since she shouldn’t have had to give you the second order.” Josh nodded his understanding. Helen sat against the head of the bed where she could see Josh’s face to keep an eye on him. Matt moved behind him. For a moment he considered taking it easy in Josh but he changed his mind. Tonight he wanted to test some limits. It was late enough that the room outside should be mostly empty. 

The first slap sent Josh rocking forward and keening into the gag, his back arching so the tendons in his neck were briefly visible. Matt was careful as the skin of Josh’s cheeks flushed. He waited until Helen gave him the nod to say Josh was okay for another. He made sure to aim for a different spot and this time Josh seemed to be more ready for it. He groaned and instead of arching he bowed his back lifting his arse. Matt started to get into a rhythm. He gave him two more and then paused to run the hot skin. He leaned over to gently bit at it. Once he’d calmed down a bit and he knew there had been time for the ache to dull he gave Josh two more. He enjoyed the look of strain and the muffled yell as the sting returned sharply to the flesh. Helen was tracking Josh for him though, making it easier for him to trust himself this far.

“Josh, check in?” Helen asked him while Matt watched the muscles in his subs back shake. Josh waited a moment tears building and falling from his eyes. Finally he took a deep breath in through his nose and managed to give her an okay sign with his hand. He looked to Matt. “You can keep going.” She told him. It was odd for her, seeing Matt like this. The lust she’d seen plenty before along with the amusement and even that wonderful powerful look he’d had earlier when he fucked Josh’s mouth. He sometime got that when he’d made a hard decision and gone for it. This though the look of hunger and power that he had as he swung back to strike Josh was new. It was amazing, it looked awe inspiring. It looked like the wrath of god, knowing he wanted to hurt Josh and knowing he was completely in control of himself at the same time.

Josh took the next two hits his head dropping as he sobbed and gasped against the gag tears streaming down his cheeks. Two more, he had to last through two more that was all. He told himself. The burn was glorious, so was the release of the pain. It felt perfect, it felt like he’d be able to remember for days just from the ache in his caboose. He wanted to be good, he wanted to last to give this to them, take it from them. The last strike was like lightning and then it just held. Matt stroked his hand across the bruising skin, he rubbed his ever so slightly stubbled cheek across the burning flesh. 

“Shit Josh. You look gorgeous.” He said kissing him. Helen ran a hand along his back. To comfort. “Your turn dear.” Matt said not lifting his cheek from Josh’s rear. 

“Let’s give him a moment first.” Helen wrapping his arms around Josh’s head and just holding him. Matt wrapped his arms around Josh from behind so they were both cuddling the kneeling man. This comfort, this closeness felt wonderful to all of them. Perfect after the stress of the last few months. Like in that moment they were all completely calm and safe and home. After a while Helen gave Josh a last squeeze and then moved round him. She pulled Matt in for a kiss and a hug. “Love you.” She told him. Matt’s hand was still lingering on Josh’s lower back. 

“Depending on what your thinking of for after you might want to go easy on him.” He told her his hand rubbed circles slowly above the sore skin. “Love you too. Love you both.” He said closing his eyes wanting to savour the moment of saying to them for the first time. In a moment he would see his wife and his subs reaction but for now he just wanted the truth of it, touching them both. He opened his eyes and didn’t know what Helen’s initial reaction had been but knew that she had settled onto a look of love and affection. He sighed with relief at that sight. He gave Helen another peck and moved to the head of the bed to see Josh’s reaction. It was hard to tell what he was feeling past the gag. Matt reached out and cleaned the tears from his face . Josh made his reaction clear nuzzling into the large palm. 

Helen moved back thinking about what to do after this. They’d all had a good recovery time so Matt should be ready to go again soon and Josh may have softened during the spanking but she didn’t think it would be hard for her to get him in the mood again. She gave his a smart tap. Josh moaned and nuzzled Josh’s hand more clearly wanting the touch. Matt moved forward so Josh could lean into his chest. He held him there and watched as Helen applied gentle taps to his rear interspersed with rubbing around his pucker.

The fifth tap and Josh was half hard and shaking. He was pushing back trying to get more. Helen gave Matt a look and hooked a bottle of lube out of the bedside. He threw it to her and she slicked up her fingers. She eased the first one in carefully. 

“What’s the plan here dear?” Matt asked carefully licking his lips eyes focused on the fingers.

“I was thinking I’d try out my new toy if you’ll help me and then you can finish things.” She smiled at him.

“Hell yeah.” Matt responded shooting out of bed to grab something from the case. Helen added more fingers enjoying speeding up how fast she was thrusting into Josh’s hole. Matt moved up behind Helen. “Mind if I help out?” He asked slyly as he ran his hand down her front and felt her soaking wet cunt. Helen hummed her consent. Matt pulled her up and back separating her thighs so he could push into her.

It was gloriously tight and hot. He stopped for a while not wanting to go again too soon. Helen was still adding lube and stretching Josh. Matt started to thrust gently and slowly. He was just helping out here. Helen gasped for a few minutes as they continued like that and then pulled her fingers out.

“Help me move Josh round. I want you to hold him for this.” She told him. “Actually help me into this first.” She said nodding to the new toy, it had been a long time since she’d had a strap on. Matt pulled out and after a few moments consideration worked out the strap on. He eased one end into Helen, it was small than him so it wasn’t hard. Once it was flush he tightened the straps around her legs and hips so it wouldn’t move. Helen just leaned back against him and let him work.

Done he moved around to the side of Josh.

“How do you want him?”

“Turn him over but slide under him to keep his hips up.” Matt unclipped Josh’s ankles and rolled him over. Like this his scars were very visible but Josh had got over any discomfort from that with Matt and Helen a while ago. They both ran their hands through the hair on his chest, fascinated by the difference with Matt who was smooth chested. Helen clipped one ankle back in place and Matt took the hint to move sliding so that Josh was rested on his chest. He wrapped both his arms around him and kissed his neck.

“Such a good boy for us.” He told his sub as Helen clipped his other ankle back in place and slicked up the strap on. Helen lined up her new equipment with Josh’s stretched hole. Helen took it slow to start with trying to find an angle that worked for her as she slowly pushed into Josh. The force of the thrust increased the pressure inside her beautifully. Josh was already overwhelmed with sensation and gave into it his head dropping back on to Matt’s chest as he just felt. He couldn’t move or talk, he could just relax and enjoy. He felt himself slowly stretch around the implement until Helen paused and shifted a little. The movement changed the angles and both of them groaned at different time. Helen made sure she was well braced and then pulled out a bit before thrusting forward. It took her awhile to find a rhythm and it was hard to focus on it as she shook from the feeling of the dildo inside her. This was going to take some practise she thought. She also thought she had no problem with putting the time in. 

So she was moving smoothly other than he odd hiccup as she shivered preceding her own orgasm. She was speeding up and was close to tumbling off the cliff. Josh was solid and leaking against her stomach and she suspected Matt was full and hard beneath him. Curious she reached Between them to see. The shifting lifted Josh’s hips and he cried into the gag.

“Shit, Helen” Matt swore as her hand brushed against his weeping straining erection.  She came at the sounds of their desperate pleas pushing hard into Josh and writhing over him. As she came back too Matt had gently guided her off to one side so she didn’t drop her weight on the two of them. He still had one arm round Josh but was stroking her hair with his near arm.

“You okay?” He asked her. 

“Mmm hmm.” She said nuzzling into the sheets in a lazy satisfied lump.

“Good. My turn.” He smiled. He managed to wiggle out from under Josh. He unclipped one of Josh’s ankle and threw the subs leg over his shoulder. He leaned over lining himself up.

“Feel free to come whenever Josh.” He told the desperate strained man beneath him as he thrust forward into the well stretched path. He was quick but still had to give Josh a little breathing room as he stretched further still around Matt. After a couple of thrusts Matt got a look of annoyance and reached up to undo the ball gag. His popped it out of Josh’s mouth and enjoyed the deep groan that followed it. Josh stretched his now moveable jaw but couldn’t help gasping and almost sobbing at Matt pounded into him hitting his prostate as often as not. He’d been so hard for so long. He just needed one last push over the edge. “Scream for me Josh.” Matt said before folding forward and plundering Josh’s mouth. He swallowed Josh’s scream as he exploded stripping both their stomachs with long streaks of right as Matt somehow sped up even more pounding the store arse. He thrust one last time and pulled back from the kiss with a roar as he found his own climax.  Gasping he looked down at Josh completely destroyed. He pulled out and pulled Josh’s head up just a little for a soft kiss before leaning his forehead against the still out of breath subs.

“I meant it Josh. I think I’ve fallen for you.” Josh’s hadn’t come down enough to reply yet and Matt looked across to where Helen was curled in a ball next to them looking vulnerable and alone having taken off the strap on. He gave Josh a kiss and undid his wrists and last ankle before moving to the other side of Helen carefully he shifted them all together so Helen’s small frame was sandwiched by theirs. Helen and Josh seemed happy enough with the arrangement as Helen nuzzled into Josh’s shoulder and Josh’s arms came round her holding her close and he breath nuzzled the top of her head. At the last moment he thought to roll away and set a phone alarm for the morning before he used his long arms to wrap around them both and cover them all with the sheets. 


	14. Jumping in

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Josh and Matt are under pressure and neither of them are sure what they should do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No warnings

The next day was hard for both the boys. Josh felt the pressure build for them to say yes to the deal and he had no idea which way Matt was going to go. Neither did Matt as the pressure piled up on him too.

“How you feeling?” He asked in a rare private moment standing in the corridor. They were standing apart in case anyone came past and in Josh’s case because after last night he didn’t know what to say to Matt. The man had told him he loved him. Was Josh there yet? Where even was there?

“Hard to say no to the vice-presidency.” Matt said honestly and Josh understood. When he’d first asked Matt to run he’d been getting out. He’d never imagined getting anywhere near those heights. On the other hand…

“Well it’s not what you signed up for.” He reminded Matt. They’d never even really discussed it. It hadn’t seemed like even a distant possibility until now. They’d been a long shot for president and hadn’t expected to come this far in their more rational minds.

“No one signs up to come in second.” Matt responded and his mind it was true. Josh knew Matt Santos hadn’t. Matt Santos was not a man who was a sore loser but he didn’t do anything half arsed. No like others.

“Are you kidding me?” Josh said thinking of Hoynes just before the first bartlett run. If that man hadn’t been signing up to come in second he’d eat his hat.

“ _We_ didn’t.” He said and Josh thought be to the moment Matt had said he would run. They were in it together and that meant Josh wasn’t signed up to come in second either. Which was new for him. He’d never expected to win in his life. Follow winners, play deputy and second fiddle but here for once if they one he would be it. He would be in the top spot. Well Matt would but since Josh had no plans to ever try and get elected to something chief of staff was about as big as it got.

“No.” He said as the weight of the decision seemed to hit him anew. There was a long pause as the two exhausted, confused though less frustrated than the previous day, men stared at each other across the gulf of the corridor. Matt chuckled at how little there was left to say despite all the calls and meetings.

“Hard to say no to the vice presidency.”

“You don’t have to for another couple of days” Josh told him. Part of him knew as he said it. He’d kind of just implied Matt was going to say no. Right in that moment part of him wanted Matt to. The other part was screaming the party line and not wanting to see a crushed, defeated Matt. The top just nodded and tiredly pushed off the wall to go back to his calls.

“Night congressman” said Josh knowing they were both going to be up a while longer and there was no chance of him getting into Santos’ room that night.

“Good Night” Santos shot back.

\--*--

Josh met Donna at the bar, he was kind of looking forward to seeing her but then the RNC got up his nose.

“YOU’RE GOING TO HELL” Josh shouted knowing he was making Donna feel uncomfortable but not really caring. He followed her as she pulled him away from the tv to a table.

“If Santos accepts you can get your revenge.” She pointed out with no subtlety at all. She’d worked with Josh for long enough that she knew that in politics at least there was only bluntness left between them.

“Yeah you think I might find five or five hundred ways to call Vinick old. You want sclerotic, I’ll give you sclerotic.” Josh ranted really wishing he could but not really liking the idea at the same time.

“Santos wouldn’t do it.” Donna admitted. That was the problem Josh thought. Matt Santos just wasn’t a good vp candidate, even Donna knew it.

“Probably not.” He said with a sigh a little disappointed that his days of getting to slag off his opponent had probably come to an end when he took on Matt Santos.

“Maybe why he shouldn’t take the job.” Josh couldn’t believe Donna was actually going there. Two could play devil here.

“Maybe why he’d be a great choice restore some civility.” He pointed out trying to look all sensible in front of one of the few people in the world he’d never be able to convince.

“You want him to accept?” Donna honestly surprised and curious.

“You don’t?” he said surprised to see her breaking ranks with Will this late in the game. He’d been starting to wonder in an about to burst a blood vessel in rage kind of way if there was something going on there.

“I have concerns.” Donna admitted carefully.

“He’s not hitman enough?” Josh really wanted to see what Donna was thinking. However it had appeared he’d valued her opinion on issues for a long time and he’d missed her analysis over the past months.

“He’s to much voltage at the bottom of the ticket.” Josh’s heart soared. Donna thought his candidate was a threat. Maybe they did still have a chance.

“Overshadows the nominee.” He clarified.

“Gets people wishing the names were reversed.” She confirmed that their thought were still that much in sync. Josh though followed it through to the downside they could both agree on.

“People willing to wait until next time.” They both smiled at each other for a moment loving being back to the comfortable back and forth of their past. Though it was different. Josh didn’t have to dominate anymore. It was more an exchange between equals. Josh loved it.

“How’d you get so smart about this?” He asked fishing for a compliment but also wanting to give her one.

“Had a good teacher.” His heart soared again. He missed Donna a lot and there was something in her smile there that suggested she had missed this too.

“Thanks”

“I meant will” Sure she did. Donna would never just let Josh have the win and he wouldn’t want it any other way.

\--*--

Josh came back from the talk with Leo feeling like he was carrying the word of god with him. Leo had told them to take the deal. Ordered Josh to see it done. A deep part of him needed to follow that order. It was Leo. Josh would never stop feeling like he owed the man for making him his deputy even knowing Josh was a sub. Leo knew which way the wind was blowing.

Matt was wrapping up a call as he came in.

“Another voice for party unity.” Matt said having hung up.

“Yeah the white house just leaned on me pretty good.” Josh told him and he knew that Matt had heard the Leo in the statement. Matt seemed to understand that Leo was something special to Josh. Almost a father figure. Certainly he knew the man had been Josh’s mentor and Josh struggled not to treat the man’s word as law.

“Same extortionate undertone?” Matt asked and Josh didn’t really want to talk about it.

“I heard something else on the way over. A Source I have in Philadelphia, Russell's been talking to baker as back up we turn him down.” He knew Matt would see the wind.

“Thinks it flips Pennsylvania.” The small rocks started to trickle down the hill.

“It does flip Pennsylvania, 178 votes to swing from us to Russell on the second ballot.” The rumble was started in both their minds as reality seemed to come crashing back around them.

“If the Hoynes delegates break anywhere near even once their released.” There was no escape from the rock slide conclusion.

“It’s game over.” There was a long pause and Matt stared at the wall.

“Smart, smart,” He looked straight at Josh, “How come we’re not that smart?” Josh couldn’t deal with the accusation in that statement.

“You have to go sit down with Russell, and when you’re in there you look for a way to tell him yes.” He did his duty. He told Santos to say yes. He’d done the right thing. He’d done what he’d been told to do. He’d given him a reason to say yes. Why did he hate this feeling?

\--*--

It was late but the cold woke Helen. Matt was gone. She was used to having his warmth in the night after the last couple of weeks. She missed the kids but this was where they both needed to be right now. She could get back to the kids after. What ever happened. She walked through to the suit and saw Matt leaned over the table.

“You okay?” She asked obligingly giving him a bit of a hug from behind.

“Yeah yeah, just, you know.” He’d made the decision earlier but she could see in his eyes that whatever he’d said he wasn’t there in his head yet. Not really.

“Night yips?” She asked trying to get him to talk about it.

“Little bit.”

“Because you’ve made a decision or because you can’t?” She probed.

“Both.” pause. “Neither.” He responded not even able to decide on that. “I bet Arnie Vinick is sleeping like a rock.” Matt she noticed had been looking at information on the republican presidential candidate.

“I don’t know, he’s old.” Helen teased.

“What?” Matt asked confused by the tangent.

“Old people don’t sleep so good.” Helen continued to try and lighten her husband up from his deep and troubled contemplation.

“Old people who have their party’s presidential nomination wrapped up _and_ have a mortal lock on California generally sleep like the dead.” He asserted in response.

“But the prospect of sleeping like the dead is part of what keeps old people up at night.” Helen joked and then thought for a second. “Ever think that maybe Arnie Vinick's up right now thinking about you?” she threw it out there hoping to at least side track his thoughts.

“I can guarantee that’s not happening.” Matt responded still feeling rather nihilistic in the night.

“Oh, smart guy, young guy, good looking to.” Helen flattered.

“Yeah?” Said Matt starting to become interested sensing where she was going with this.

“Lets see about helping this troubled office seeker get himself some sleep.” Matt realised if nothing else then at least he was getting fair trade in sex for the amount of stress this vp offer was bringing his way. He let Helen pull him back into their room.

After the adventure of the previous night it wasn’t boring just more about comfort. This was sex for reassurance. Helen needed Matt to know she was there and nothing would change that and Matt needed to reassure himself that he wasn’t a loser. He wasn’t failing. He was young and in shape. He needed to see his gorgeous wife in his arms and in his bed. It worked. They took it slow and easy and it was like the thought slowly drained out of him until all that mattered was how wonderful Helen looked coming apart in his arms again and again. Finally he let go and they both drifted off to sleep without even taking the time to clean up. They were proving murder on the house keeping.


	15. Been down here before

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Matt makes a choice, Leo talks to Josh and Josh realises he's not falling for Matt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No warnings  
> Bit of a short chapter mostly taken from the show but I happen to love these three scenes and Matt and Josh in them so here they are. Next chapter is the last but for a warning the next chapter is less of a wrap up because I started writing this to be one story that would go through to the end of the Santos administration and then realised it was a lot longer and more complicated than that. This one wraps up with the nomination. The next story has been started and I have one and a bit chapters left to write on it, that leads up to the transition. They'll be one after that for the first 100 days probably and then either a series of shorts or one more story covering the rest of the Santos Admin and will include babies and more of the kids. I can't justify them showing up more during the campaigns but really want to get on to them all being a family. I'm working on all that for myself because it's in my head, please comment if you want to see more so I know it's worth the proofing and such to post it.

Josh saw the look on Matts face as he left the room. He’d seen it once or twice before and it lifted his heart. He remembered the first time he’d seen it in that tv studio in new hampshire and something else became clearer to him. They stepped in to the lift and waited until the doors had closed.

“Mad at me?” Matt asked clearly worried.

“No, oddly.” Josh said with a cock of his head still trying to work out what happened now.

“Disappointed?” Matt was sure Josh was going to think he’d thrown away a great chance. Josh took a moment to find the right word.

“Proud. I think.” He said with a smile.

“You’ve got a tough conversation ahead.” Matt said know that Josh was going to have to go tell the white house next.

“Not so tough.” Josh tried to pass off, Matt have him a sympathetic look that said he wasn’t fooling anyone.  “Yeah. I do.”

\--*--

Josh hated the waiting and let out a breath as Leo finally got back.

“Listen to Vinick?” The old statesman asked Josh as he ushered him into the mural room.

“No.” Josh said wanting to get on with this.

“You’re better off.” said Leo never long on chit chat.

“Santos turned Russellll down.” Josh managed to say without ducking for cover or even flinching much.

“Okay.” Leo sounded affable still. It threw Josh.

“Okay?” He’d expected fireworks, court martials, the whole nine yards.

“Okay. So now you get him to  unturn it down.” Leo said as though it was that simple. As though just had to order it and it would be done. Sometimes Josh was baffled by the tops around him who felt so incontrol of the world.

“Doesn’t work like that.” Josh told him. Maybe his candidate had just done as he was told but you didn’t just tell Matt Santos to change his mind. Josh would have had more success trying to get a republican to ban guns.

“No. It does.” said Leo his voice turning darker.

“I told him to find a way to say yes.” Josh scrambled to his own defence.

“You find it for him.” Leo instructed in that way he had so many times over the years expecting Josh to respond with yes, sir and hope to it.

“Your not hearing me.” Josh said astonished that Leo couldn’t see that it wasn’t going to happen. Leo started to realise Josh wasn’t backing down. That had never happened before with Josh. They were both in unchartered territory.

“Your not hearing me. Matthew Santos has had a terrific ride. Improbable, impressive and over. This is the return to reality he’s Russell’s vice president.” Leo commanded as thought his mear thought would make it so. Something in Josh broke, a last strand of obedience, this man didn’t get to tell Matt Santos it was over.

“It’s not gonna happen.” Josh said suddenly feeling the immovability and determination he’d seen earlier in Matt face. Leo sensed a change here and it worried him. Some thing about Josh was different since the campaign. Leo knew he was out the closet now and had been running things for a while but it wasn’t quiet enough to explain this change to the machiavellian former chief of staff.

“You are gonna do this for us. For the president, for your party.” That should solve it. Josh had always done anything for the president.

“I’m not cause I don’t agree with it. I told him to say yes, I was wrong.” There was a loyalty and a fire in Josh’s eyes even beyond that of his days as the white house’s attack dog. “He’s twice the man Russell is on his best day. Ten times. And Russell doesn’t have that many best days.” Leo swallowed at the look of passion in Josh’s eyes. He had a pretty good idea what had changed. He just hoped he was wrong for Josh’s sake. Nothing good could come from Josh falling for his candidate. Right now though there was nothing else for Leo to say.

“I’ll go tell the president.”

\--*--

Josh got back to the campaign headquarters and looked around but Matt had been waiting for him. He wrapped up his conversation and grabbed Josh before he could get into anything else. He pulled him across to the bedroom for some privacy.

“Give us ten.” he told Ronna. “How’d it go?” He asked after the door was closed.

“Mind if I sit down?” Josh said pointing to the bed. 

“Course, go ahead.” Matt waved and Josh sat on the edge of the mattress his elbows on his knees. The exhaustion was starting to get to him.

“Good.” Good Josh said referring to the meeting. “I think.” He backtracked. “I’m pretty sure Leo thinks we just stabbed the party in the back, but good.” Matt was confused this doesn’t quiet track.

“Okay…” 

“ _ Please  _ don’t use that word right now.” Josh said dropping his head to stare at the floor.

“Josh, what happened?” Matt asked needing clarity.

“Leo told me to change your mind. I told him you were right to turn it down.” 

“You think so?” Matt asked still wondering what Josh really thought about all this.

“President bingo Bob? Yeah, that’s going to happen. Helen’s right we have a better chance of winning.” Josh admitted rubbing his head. He knew he needed to talk to Santos but it was hard for him to get started.

“Against Vinick?” Matt asked.

“I said better not good.” Josh responded somewhat self deprecating. “I also realised something Matt.” Josh said trying to move the conversation more personal.

“What is it Josh?” Matt moved to sit next to Josh. He could tell Josh was struggling and thought maybe it would be easier if he didn’t have to look at him.

“The other night when you said…” Josh just let the idea of those words hang in the air, “and I didn’t say anything back.”

“Yeah…” Matt tried to keep Josh going.

“I thought at the time I was confused. I didn’t know if I was there yet.” Josh swallowed. It was like talking around a boulder. “I’ve never done the love thing before Matt and I’m probably already screwing this up.” He rubbed his forehead again.

“You’re doing alright so far…” Matt encouraged.

“I think part of the reason I was struggling was because I haven’t felt like I’ve been falling for you.” Josh found it was only getting harder. “Earlier when you came out of Russell’s office and then just now when Leo tried to pull his King and Country crap I realised why.” He took a deep breath. “I’m pretty sure I’m not falling for you Matt.” Josh said quickly. Matt blew out his breath and stood up turning away from Josh and Josh realised that was a really bad moment to pause. “Let me finish. I’m not falling cause I’ve already plummeted. I think I’ve loved you since that tv studio in New Hampshire. Don’t get me wrong the rest has been amazing but seriously, you had me then.” Josh focused on the carpet as he ran that all off and Matt chuckled. 

“Wow, I don’t know who told you otherwise but that was pretty amazing Josh.” Matt said turning back to the sub. He stood in front of him and waited for Josh to look up. Once he had eye contact he took his hand and pulled Josh to his feet. His other hand went to the back of the man’s neck and pulled him in for a slow sweet kiss. “I’d love to celebrate this mutual declaration thing but I think we might be stretching those ten minutes. I’ll find some time soon though. I promise.” Josh laughed at that one. Unlike Matt, Josh had been somewhere like this before. 

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep congressman. This is the white house we’re aiming for. We’ll sleep when we’re dead.” Josh went over and opened the door holding it for Santos and they both went back to work. 


	16. The Way Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Matt has a proposal for Helen, Josh goes a bit crazy over a vote and Leo suspects.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter of this story. Might be a bit of a gap before I post the next one depending on my will power. I try not to start posting till I have a first draft of the whole thing and I have two chapters still to go. Plus that the next one needs more editing. I am not leaving it here though. The next one will go up to sometime in the transition. Hope you've all enjoyed it and like the ending/not ending.

“So, how we feeling about tomorrow?” Helen asked as she started to get ready for bed. Matt was sat staring at his personal laptop. 

“I don’t know. I’m exhausted and I mostly just want to get it over with and see where we are.”

“So what you looking at?” She asked leaning to one side to try and see the screen. Matt closed it. 

“We didn’t talk about the other night.” He said needing to raise the subject. 

“Do we need to?” Helen asked.

“Well, it would be good to know how you feel about the fact that I told someone else I loved them.” Matt asked frankly giving her an ernest look.

“Well, you and Josh have been dating for around five months and it’s you so I’m not surprised.” Helen said honestly. “You make up your mind Matt and then that’s it. After five months it makes sense you’d either be in love or would have broken up with Josh. Have you had a chance to talk to Josh about it yet?” 

“Yeah.” Matt said with a little smile and stroked the laptop.

“And…” Helen prompted.

“He told me he felt the same way. Apparently he’s loved me for a while and only just worked it out.” Matt confessed.

“When did he fall for you?”

“New Hampshire.” They both just paused for a minute on that. “How do you feel about Josh?” Matt asked carefully.

“I haven’t had the time you have Matt. You two were together twenty four seven for a while there.” Helen pointed out. “I like Josh. I don’t know why, he’s an ass but he’s cute when he’s getting all frustrated.” She said with a soft smile. “And I don’t think I’ve seen anything hotter than having a guy that wound up kneel broken at my feet completely relaxed and waiting for me.” Helen was starting to ramble.

“Helen I know this is fast and I don’t want to rush it but I want to order a collar for Josh.” A collar was a big step for a pairing, like an engagement ring but instead of marriage it promised claiming. A commitment to being life partners. 

“Matt, it’s  _ way _ too fast.” Helen said worried

“I don’t want to give it to him. I just want to order it. I want him to know when he gets it how long I’ve been serious about this.” Matt tried to explain.

“Okay, Matt, but can’t it wait until after the convention?” Helen pleased

“No. I want to do it tonight. I think I want to know it’s there while we go through this.” Matt seemed to need this. He needed to know for himself that whatever the outcome of the next few days he intended to keep Josh.

“Well, it’s your choice Matt. If you want to do this you can, please just check with me again before you give it to him?” Helen said a little exasperated with her romantic of a husband.

“That’s why I’m asking now. I want to ask you to trust me. I want to put our name on the collar. Not just mine, ours.” He knew this was going to be hard for his wife but he needed this. He needed to be certain of something.

“Matt, that’s big. I don’t know if I’m ready for it.” She told him her eyes wide at the prospect and trying to be honest.

“You don’t need to know. I know and for now it’s not a commitment just a possibility. Trust me, I know this will work. Peter only ever want to talk about or to Josh when he calls. You don’t notice it but you light up around him. I know this will work just trust me and we can wait till your ready before we do anything else.” Helen chuckled, Matt was right Peter was a little obsessed with Josh. She looked at the man who she had shared so much with over the years. He was ready to take the plunge now. He was giving her time to get there as well. Could she imagine letting Matt put a collar with just his name on on Josh? No. She wanted this to be something they shared. She nodded.

“Okay, what were you thinking of?” She asked. Matt reopened the laptop and showed her the options.

\--*--

The convention was three days of hell for Josh. He hadn't slept. He felt powerless. Santos wouldn't listen, Hoynes  wouldn't help. He'd done everything Matt would let him and he knew it wasn’t enough. He was going to lose more than just the nomination. He stood there as Santos was about to go on stage and knew he was done. Matt had told him to give him a call, he'd refused to let him see the speech, he was already finished with Josh. He looked relieved it was over. Josh knew it couldn't last but just three days ago he'd had at least something to be happy about, something driving him and now it was all dead at his feet. Matt walked on to that stage and Josh just watched, empty next to Helen. 

Then he started talking. Helen moved away to a less crowded screen and Josh felt a pull to follow her but hung back unsure of his welcome. There on screen was the man they had both fallen so hopelessly for. A man who stood more firmly by the truth and his principles and himself than anyone. As he talked about being broken and imperfect Josh’s heart clenched. And when he finished Josh was still empty. Helen met Matt and they embraced. Josh didn't see it as his phone rang. 

Josh  moved like a whirlwind, with the presidents backing he was finally able to lock the nomination down. He even got Leo to sign on for vp. It should have felt like a win. He should have been calling for the keg of victory. In his mind, despite his cock sure outward appearance was a deep fear that something was still broken and he didn't know how to fix it. 

Wanting to be quiet and avoid the roaring cheers in his own camp he sat down to watch them walk out on stage with Donna and Will. He didn't like Will but he'd fought the good fight, he’d been a worthy adversary. Here he was with Donna and Will and they were both pleased it was Santos. He was glad. The idea of Donna holding a grudge would have been the end of him right now. But she’d congratulated him, given him a hug and no one had said anything when he grabbed three beers and sat down. It was like being back in the west wing watching Bartlett off giving a speech somewhere and knowing they were finished with a good day's work.

Finally it was all done and he knew he had to show his face at the party. He timed it to catch the president before he turned in. Bartlett shook his hand and congratulated him on finding a good candidate. He wished him luck with the election and then he left. Josh  mingled and Leo approached him. They exchanged congratulations.

“Of course you do know that everything comes out during a presidential race?” Leo said carefully.

“oh yeah.” said Josh with a small self deprecating smile. 

“That gonna be a problem?” Leo asked in his tone that said where’s the shit.

“Have you met Santos? He's a boy scout.” Josh tried to shrug it off.

“Is he now?” Leo continued in that all knowing tone. Then he paused and looked a little worried, “Josh, just be careful. The eyes of the world are on us.”

Josh knew then that Leo suspected, damn it. Josh didn't even know if there was something to suspect. It was  probably good they ended it before it got out. Leo put a fatherly hand on Josh’s shoulder when the boy didn’t reply and then headed off to talk to someone else. Josh was alone for a moment and wondered if he could leave already.

Then Josh finally saw Matt across the room with Helen. The top raised his eyebrows and jerked his head summoning Josh over. He was smiling, what did that mean? Josh went though.

“So... still proud, Josh?” Matt asked when they people they were talking with moved on and Josh, he and Helen got a moment alone.

“Yeah. No doubt.” Josh said with a sad smile. Whatever else he had chosen the right man for the job of president in Matt Santos. That speech had been inspired and not by manipulation. It was just who Matt was. “You two ready for this?” He asked the hopefully future first couple. Matt smiled at Helen who smiled back then Helen looked to Josh.

“The same rules still apply Josh.” She told him and he stared at her a little confused.

“Only if you’re in it with us.” Matt clarified softly and with that smile he was saved from purgatory. He was forgiven and the ride would continue.


End file.
